15th January 2019

15th January 2019 
Pongal today so time to visit old pals 

As the Pachaikili centre is closed for the Pongal ( harvest) festival, we had nothing scheduled today. In the morning however Pam, Jan and Brian went to the office building in order to access wifi. Whilst they were sitting in the corridor Dr Shanti came out of her office and they then chatted for about an hour. She clearly values us as old friends of the work of RUHSA and wanted to have an exchange of ideas. Pam tells me that she wants me to address a group - we know not who - on the subject of parenting... So I will have to engage my brain a little.

After lunch in the canteen we took the auto to Tuthitangel, the delightfully-named village where we have friends with whom we have long history. Here Selvi and her mum, Sorja, greeted us very warmly indeed. It being Pongal much cooking had been done, ( lots of rice dishes in the Pongal pot). Selvi's food is always delicious! We exchanged news of friends and family and Selvi was astonished to be told that Rosie, my younger daughter, who was 12 when we first came to the village, will celebrate her 40th in March. Her friend Jacqui who came over from Bishopston when she and Selvi were 16, will become a granny at the end of this month. What a rich and valued history of friendship across cultures we have. 

Home with a food parcel from Selvi, of course, in time for the crow fly-past at sunset. 

14th January 2019

14th January 2019
In which a meeting with Dr Santi brings me to tears

After all that we'd heard already from all directions, we were very much looking forward to meeting the new Director of RUHSA, Dr Santidani. Just before our appointment time she came out of her office and warmly introduced herself to each of us in turn. Given how many hours we have spent outside that office waiting for a series of different directors over the years to deign to see us, this was a good start. Santi, as she introduced herself, is a small woman who comes across as very warm and smiley immediately. No ceremony is to be stood on with her, you feel. 

Over the next almost hour and a half an extremely encouraging conversation took place between us. She is a listener and a communicator. She grasps ideas very quickly and responds to them and in this she reminds me of the original director, Daleep. She told us that they are doing a wide-ranging review at the moment of Ruhsa's aims and activities in order to plan for the next few years. Amongst the ideas which strike a real chord with us, and which tie in with activities in which we have already been involved are: targetted career advice for school children; support for bright children who haven't had the opportunity to learn English yet ( which will hold them back in their careers); targetted interventions for those children whose families do not/ cannot support their education; 

mental health support for adolescents ( substance abuse, suicide prevention); assessment of special needs in infants and programmes of support for all children with special needs. This last one is a huge issue for special needs are barely considered in much of India and many children and their families will go unrecorded and unsupported. It is obvious that Santi wants to think large scale on this issue in particular and she is already talking and planning with a CMC paediatrician. 

In talking about the importance of involving parents in their children's education I mentioned that this had been one of the foundation principles of the learning approach which we had introduced at Pachaikili. Santi listened with interest and then suggested that we could use our centre to model early years practice and spread it to balwadi teachers in the area. This is when I could have burst into tears, because of course it was what we very much had hoped to do when we first set up the school as a model. We could all of us have gone on talking for hours but Santi of course has a very busy workload. Eventually we had to stop but she suggested a meeting with her on 28th January to discuss some of these things in more details and she invited us to supper on Thursday too. She also said that we must feel free to drop by at her house! 

As we all agreed afterwards, what an inspirational woman, and what hope now for Ruhsa's future! This poster is pinned up next to her desk.

And Alleluia to that! 

In the afternoon we went to Seetaramanpet and I got to see the new and amazing house which Raghu has built for his family. It is beautiful and all funded by the work Raghu does in Thailand. He has such a sweet and grateful family ( more touching of our feet to honour us, by Mageshwari, Raghu's mum)  We are all very much looking forward to the engagement party for Raghu and his intended bride Janani, on Sunday, in Chennai, for which Raghu has organised three mini buses. 150 locals are going!! 

After an absolutely terrifying ride home through KVKuppam rush hour we stopped for drinks 

at Grabb a coffee. Suddenly a gaggle of student nurses appeared who were very keen to take selfies with us, though heaven alone knows why! They were particularly taken with my hat I think! 

13th January 2019

13th January Sunday 
Think Vicar of  Dibley Christmas Dinners... 

Today was a restful start, with a light breakfast of a few oats and some fruit, because we knew we had an eating/ hospitality challenge ahead of us. Lunch was at teacher Rani's house and we know from experience that all the culinary stops will be pulled out here. It was my first meeting with her daughter in law and the first grandchild, a little girl, Arseni, eighteen months old- both quite delightful. Daughter in law Deepa substituted for Rani when she was absent for her heart operation. She is actually a qualified nurse. They showed me their wedding photo album-of course!! We see these, proudly shown off in every home. They are huge books full of colourful pages of wedding photos, in which the bride and groom look like Bollywood stars. At Mohanraj and Deepa's wedding there were 3,000 guests and no, that's not my mistake with a zero!! Deepa's father was a Ruhsa electrician so all Ruhsa staff were invited, then all the staff of the work places of bride and groom, then most of the village- until you get to 3,000! As in every home so far visited where there are young children, much love and attention is being given by the whole family to that young child, and all of them seem to be doing so well developmentally. Little Arseni, aged 18 months, recited the alphabet in English! Lovely family, lovely grub, super visit. Back then by auto for a quick flake out beneath the ceiling fans in our rooms, then time to move to the next venue.

We had a bit of a dilemma here because we were going, for the first time, to visit the home of Ambaragan, one of the general gofers/ helpful chaps who fetch and carry in Ruhsa. We have known him for 30 years, during which he has made huge progress in his English. We knew he lived in Kavanur, across the railway line from us, but not his address. En route to ask for help from Christopher at Paul's hotel, I passed the home of the new HOD, Dr Santdani. She and her husband were saying goodbye to a group of friends. She spoke to me immediately to say Hello, I am Santi. Then we had a short chat and I said we were going to find Ambaragan's house. She offered immediately to telephone Christopher who she was sure would know how to contact him. Amazing! That she would stop to speak to me, then introduce me to her friend, then know her staff and nearby community well enough to be able to make these family connections. A change of regime indeed! 

And so to Ambaragan's house, where we met his wife Lakshmi and son Deepak, whose 21st birthday it is today. He is studying to be a radiographer at CMC, in Vellore. His sister is studying for a nursing degree and only comes home to visit fortnightly. Here is another example of a fairly poor village family where a huge emphasis has been placed on education, and where the children have done well and are elevating themselves out of poverty- and providing for their parents now too. Here too another big meal had been prepared for us. It really is astonishing what you can force into your already full stomach if you really try! Mind you upon our return home Pam revealed that she had a chappati in her hat... 

Ambaragan and family.

Rani's granddaughter in her cradle, sleeping. 

S

 Rani's feast on a banana leaf plate.

Rani's mum, the very devoted great granny.

12th January 2019, part 2

PART 2

I have to report that wonderful as an iPad is when one is travelling abroad etc, it is a proving a bit of a pain when I'm trying to write this blog. So last night after a while of fighting with it and trying to contain the rude language I just posted what I could and decided to do episode 2 in the morning whilst fresh and hopefully, more patient! 

We were bidder to lunch at midday at the home of Santi and her daughters, in the village where Pachaikili is situated,  Seetaramanpet. Pam has a lovely connection and history with this family. Years ago when she and Brian were first visiting, in order to gather information for an education pack for schools, she met and interviewed Santi, then a widow bringing up three girls. Subsequently she interviewed the two younger girls who told her of their dreams of becoming.a nurse and a teacher. The girls were tearful, however, when telling Pam that they would not be able to complete their education because of their mother's straightened circumstances as a widow. From this interview came the germ of The One Candle Fund, through which we provided a small bursary for poorer children, to enable them to stay on in education. Over the years 100 children benefited from this fund, which is now closed. 

I can now report that all three of Santi's girls are now happily married with children of their own. The middle girl is a nurse locally and the youngest is on maternity leave from a good job in Chennai, in IT. Selvi -unsurprisingly-always greets Pam as the saviour of the family. She had prepared the most wonderful feast for us. Umma, her oldest girl who is a really sparkly  delightful woman, had even remembered that potato curry is a favourite of mine ( from three years ago!) The middle girl, Vijay Kumari, is married to Suresh, an old friend of ours. His English is good so between us communication worked and we discussed some interesting topics. He and Vijay are a love match, he being Forward Caste, whilst she is Most Backward Caste, so the marriage would not have been approved. However they persisted for seven years and finally they were allowed to marry. We heard how very well their daughter Adjita is doing in school. She has inherited her dad's chattiness and bubbles with self-confidence. Generously they attribute this to her good start in Pachaikili play centre. She is only four but is now in  kindergarten class where she is assessed and she was sporting a badge which declared she was 'First Rank'. 

After our time with this lovely family we moved on for coffee with the family of Balaji. He had been called to work in Vellore so was distraught not to see us, but for me it was great to meet his daughter, now two and a half, his wife Prya, and the rest of his family. His brother Shankar is currently working as a sari salesperson in Andra Pradesh- a long day or more's travel from home. Times are very hard in rural India for those with low levels of education and skills. Later we saw Balaji briefly and learned that in his current job he has to hang from a makeshift cradle to fix water pipes outside a high rise building.

The school, now a pleasing shade of green in the coconut grove. 

Look how elegantly Santi works. 

Traditional sitting on floor, wonderful food. Santi keeps pinching my cheeks and saying 'Nice, chubby ma!' Today she added another ' Your face is like an apple' ( but in a good way, of course!!) 

12th January 2019

12th January 2019 
In which the serious over-feeding begins....

I began the day today with my now daily visit to the IT support man, who reckoned to have sorted me out so that my iPad could access wifi. The fact that I'm writing this on Pam's device alas, gives the lie to that. Still, he's a nice chap and very smiley. Then I had a cardomom tea for the first time, from very friendly barista Anandan at Grabb a coffee, whilst I waited for the rest of the team to arrive. 

Time then for the rattle-trap death-defying auto ride to Pachaikili, where we found half of the elderly had arrived and Sarida was beginning food preps. The centre isn't usually open on a Saturday but it will be closed for several days for Pongal festival next week so extra days are being fitted in so that the elders don't miss out on what they are due. We were introduced to everyone and I made a stab at remembering all their names. Since my last visit three years ago, most of the members of this group have changed, primarily due to death. One elderly (55?!) lady, Alemelu, regularly helps Sarida out with food preparation. 

Here she is using a lethally sharp cutter on plantain. 

You might like to see just how much garlic and chilli goes into the dishes they like to eat! 

1. 

We watched the elders play tradition games, which they do sitting on the floor. The smell of the food being cooked was very tempting; but tidal we are invited to the home of an old friend, Santhi, for lunch, and we know we will need plenty of space for her feast! 

Our Sarida is so tiny! 

11th January 2019

11th January 2019

The team plan for today was to get ourselves off fairly early to the play centre/ elderly day centre at Pachaikili. Unfortunately after almost a night of no sleep ( many trains, flying creatures flitting) I did not wake until almost 11, so the plan had to be revised. No matter, this is India, everything runs late, very much my kind of country! First call was to see the computer man who did whizzy things and enabled me to connect my iPad to wifi, as well as my iPhone ( but nb, not at the same time!) Next we needed an auto ( short for auto rickshaw ie tuk tuk), then we were off, bumpity-bump, rattle and crash ( very nearly!) and prayers to any god we could think of... 

Suddenly, after the terrors of buses/ lorries/ lunatics on the main road here we were at our destination, the reason we return and love to be here: the Pachaikili centre ( green parrot in Tamil). We had arrived so late that the elderly had had their lunches and gone home, and the children were asleep on their mats in the inner room. So we were able to greet our dear friends, the staff and supporters of the centre, hurling ourselves at them in delight. In their quieter Indian way they were clearly equally thrilled to see us. Hugs, kisses, and gifts for Pam and I - very pretty flower baskets which Rani, one of the teachers, had made for us. We had only just discovered that Rani has recently had open heart surgery, at CMC, the huge and prestigious hospital nearby in Vellore. 

 

The children having their nutritious milky snacks after their midday snooze, a new thing introduced when it was realised that some of the children were very much underweight. The new head of Ruhsa, Dr Santidani, had given the go-ahead for this, declaring that the funds could be found later.

Brian can never resist playing with the children!

The wonderful team who work at the Pachaikili centre, from left, Prya and Rani, teachers; Indra and Vimula Self Help Group volunteers who prepare food for the elderly; and Sarida, our hard-working ayah. 

Once the welcome greetings had been given we were then immediately into a flood of invitation  for us to visit our friends who live locally and who will now be in a competition to give us the most and best hospitality. The diary is soon filling up, with breakfast, lunch and tea dates! How wonderful and what a privilege to have such a community of friends. 

We watched as the children woke, looked with some anxiety and some curiosity at us, then queued for Sarida to comb their hair and wipe their faces. Time then for the milky snack which - thanks to regime-change at Ruhsa- has been introduced twice daily for the children, with one egg snack each day also. I'm beginning really to look forward to meeting our new HOD next Monday! 

10th January 2019

The new coffee shop just outside the main RUHSA building- wonderful! Blue skies and rising temperatures here today. 

January 10th 2019 

How wonderful to be back here, with the rattle and whistle of the nearby trains, the late afternoon crowing of a cockerel, the racket of crows, revving up for their fly-in to roost at sunset in the trees on our campus; and just now as I write the discordant insistence of Indian music baring through a loudspeaker. The team this time is Pam and Brian Morris, Pam's sister Janice Wise and me. So, this year for the first time as friends here have said already ' one sir is missing'; no Andy, alas, and much missed by me already. 

Our journey here with Etihad was long, with a break in Abu Dhabi, so we are weary and resting up a bit today. Perhaps  older brains take longer to adjust to a new world and way of doing things! When I first came here in 1991 I was just short of my 43rd birthday and there were locals who thought then we were old to be rushing about on bikes setting up our first pre-school project. Heaven knows what they think of us now, when three of us are septuagenarians! 

We have already sampled the canteen fare, as ever, big helping of rice, samba ( a sort of veg curry), chutney, poppadum/ chapatti, and today some really nice smooth curd. In the south, Tamil Nadu where we are, people like their food hot and spicy, and yesterday's supper was very eye-watering/ nose-running for me! 

This morning we went to see Vinoth, the administrator, who has already organised our taxi for the airport at Chennai, our bottled water supply and other items in our flat, and who will now - after much form-filling in triplicate, sort us our WIFI-HURRAH! Back in 1991 we wrote long letters home and received replies weeks later if we were lucky. There was no phone link to the uk, in the village. Nowadays everyone has a mobile and the wifi connection in our room isn't bad at all. After Vinoth we bumped into Sekar, our oldest friend amongst the Ruhsa staff, then Jayraman, Jeffers and Ambaragan ( who used to be Mr Immanuel's gofer) Sekar will retire in June after being here at Ruhsa since it started in 1977, the inspired vision of Dr Daleep Mukharji its founder/ first director. So many of the young community workers recruited by Daleep to create his vision with him have retired in the last few years and a new group are now taking the work forward. Sekar spoke to Pam and told her that the new Director, Dr Shantidani, is very community-minded, so he is hopeful that the work of. Ruhsa will go forward. Everyone we have spoken to so far speaks in very positive tones of the new 'H.O.D' ( Head of dept), which is quite a turnabout from the last incumbent. Heaven be praised!