Ruby wedding celebrations and gifts for Morrises and Whittinghams
Mehndi hands and the wedding couple
Candle Fund recipients30th January 2012
A second wedding, a special anniversary celebration and too many funerals to count
This weekend was a busy one, as our schedule inevitably seems to heat up as we near the end of a visit. Saturday morning we had a lovely task to perform, the distribution of One Candle Fund bursaries to students. A few at a time, or sometimes singly with parents, some shy, some giggly, they appeared to show proof of their academic status, to sign our records, and to express super-polite thank-yous to each of us in turn. This feels like such a worthwhile if modest project when you see the faces of the enthusiastic students and hear of their plans for higher education, and now increasingly for masters degrees too. Most of the students, both male and female, are studying engineering of one type or another, and computer applications, and commerce. So many degree students in two small villages does make it apparent that what is described in the Times of India is correct, ie that there is a surplus of qualified engineers etc over the available jobs for the graduates. So very enthusiastically is education embraced by parents now for their children, even their girl children, as a way to better themselves and the family.
On Saturday afternoon we went by auto-rickshaw to visit Sekar at home. Andy has been suffering with a painful back, so opted out of the jolting and bumpity ride that this promised to be, the main K V Kuppam road having deteriorated dreadfully since last we were here. We had a very happy trip to Sekar’s family. His elder daughter is now married with a 4 year old daughter and they live in Gudyatum, where her husband has a shop. The younger girl is also married and has a lively 18month old son, Bala, and they live with Sekar and his wife currently. His daughter is now doing a masters degree at Vellore college- again in a science subject, and has hopes of going on to a Ph D. Sekar is every bit the extremely proud and doting granddad or ‘ta-ta’ and the little boy sounds like everybody’s hard work, as he never stops all day long, apparently. Sekar’s wife keeps a small shop at the front of the house selling small household items and sweets and cheap toys, so there is usually a stream of children at the door.
After a quick lie down under the fan in our RUHSA bedrooms, to recover a little, it was time to spray ourselves with anti-mozzie and go forth in another autorickshaw to the wedding of a Seetaramanpet girl, Pria. Many of the folk of the village had already departed for the marriage hall on the outskirts of Vellore, standing massed in the back of a lorry. Our uncomfortable auto ride was still an improvement on this. Just one or two moments of eyes shut and pray like mad, as when we had to cross the extremely fast and insane dual-carriage way to get to the hall. Balaji was our guide and he had already been at the hall in the morning helping to prepare it in some way. When we arrived there were lots of young men hanging around, and we were soon introduced to the bridegroom, who comes from a village about 7 kms from Seetaramanpet. This means that in leaving her home to move to her husband’s the bride won’t be so far away.
As soon as we entered the dining hall we were told quickly to sit down and ‘Sapida sapida’- join in the feast. We knew Sarida and Padmini from our school staff, and they sat with us on the long benches at trestle tables. As always at Indian weddings the catering was on a huge scale and lots of men were ready with vast cooking pots full of rice and vegetable curries and poppadoms, to be piled high on everyone’s plates- (banana leaves). In this culture the sharing of food is very different from that of, say, France, where one is expected to spend time and to talk over food. Here we seemed to be on a very fast conveyor belt.
Afterwards we went into the marriage hall proper, where the marriage was to take place the next morning, at 6 a.m. It seems that the priest suggests the auspicious time for the wedding. 6 a.m doesn’t sound anything like an auspicious time to me! The Saturday Sunday and Monday just gone were especially auspicious days on the calendar for weddings which would explain why we saw many taking place in other marriage halls on our route. Weddings are extremely good business here, that is for certain. We were then photographed far too much for my liking by a chap with a very bright flash gun. After this the lorry full of Seetaramanpet people departed home, tummies full, but we stayed with Balaji and some of the other young men to go to see the bride, who was waiting with her mother and other women at a nearby temple.
This entailed a short but hair-raising walk along the crazy road in pitch black. Pria had been having her hands decorated with Mehndi, which is the tradition the night before the wedding. There she sat wearing a heavy gold headdress looking somewhat overwhelmed and perhaps rather glum. Suddenly the musical parade arrived, piping and drumming. This was the bridegroom come to fetch his bride. There was a small ceremony of presenting coconuts and bananas at the temple, then huge flower garlands were put around the necks of the happy couple and more flashing of photos took place, with strange passing English visitors to feature much in them. We left to bounce and bump home to RUHSA, leaving the bridal procession walking along the dangerous road. Good job it was an auspicious date I’d say!
Sunday had promised to be a day of rest for us but ‘twas not to be, as many of the One Candle fund students had been in school on the Saturday so we had another morning of giving out bursaries to grateful recipients at the pre-school. Around midday this was completed and we slowly became aware that the teachers and ayah, who had been assisting us, were cooking up something. Sarida the ayah and her daughter Prianka had been chalking a beautiful flower column pattern on the floor of the outer hall in the school which we had admired and photographed. It is remarkable how even and symmetrical the design is, done by eye without measuring. Then Sarida appeared with a bunch of balloons and balanced herself precariously on a chair to tie it to the fan. Next we were summoned to sit in a circle of 4 chairs under the fan, on the flower pattern. Suddenly they said ‘Ma’am, sirs, your 40 years wedding anniversary, celebration!’ and one of them leapt up to spin the fan (the current being, as very often, off) and Sarida reached up with a burning joss stick to pop the balloons. With that glittery confetti showered down on the four of us, the Ruby Wedding anniversary couples! Then we were each of us presented with an ornament as a present. Ours was two swans which turned and played a tune when switched on, and the Morrises was similar, but featured dolphins.
I cannot tell you, but perhaps you can imagine, how very touched we all were by this lovely surprise. It is so typical of the wonderful staff of the Pachaikili centre that they think of what they can do for us all the time. They are simple women with such good hearts who give so much, so generously, though their own lives are quite hard. I for one felt that if we do nothing else to celebrate our 40th, that celebration will remain with us as very very special.
On Saturday afternoon we went by auto-rickshaw to visit Sekar at home. Andy has been suffering with a painful back, so opted out of the jolting and bumpity ride that this promised to be, the main K V Kuppam road having deteriorated dreadfully since last we were here. We had a very happy trip to Sekar’s family. His elder daughter is now married with a 4 year old daughter and they live in Gudyatum, where her husband has a shop. The younger girl is also married and has a lively 18month old son, Bala, and they live with Sekar and his wife currently. His daughter is now doing a masters degree at Vellore college- again in a science subject, and has hopes of going on to a Ph D. Sekar is every bit the extremely proud and doting granddad or ‘ta-ta’ and the little boy sounds like everybody’s hard work, as he never stops all day long, apparently. Sekar’s wife keeps a small shop at the front of the house selling small household items and sweets and cheap toys, so there is usually a stream of children at the door.
After a quick lie down under the fan in our RUHSA bedrooms, to recover a little, it was time to spray ourselves with anti-mozzie and go forth in another autorickshaw to the wedding of a Seetaramanpet girl, Pria. Many of the folk of the village had already departed for the marriage hall on the outskirts of Vellore, standing massed in the back of a lorry. Our uncomfortable auto ride was still an improvement on this. Just one or two moments of eyes shut and pray like mad, as when we had to cross the extremely fast and insane dual-carriage way to get to the hall. Balaji was our guide and he had already been at the hall in the morning helping to prepare it in some way. When we arrived there were lots of young men hanging around, and we were soon introduced to the bridegroom, who comes from a village about 7 kms from Seetaramanpet. This means that in leaving her home to move to her husband’s the bride won’t be so far away.
As soon as we entered the dining hall we were told quickly to sit down and ‘Sapida sapida’- join in the feast. We knew Sarida and Padmini from our school staff, and they sat with us on the long benches at trestle tables. As always at Indian weddings the catering was on a huge scale and lots of men were ready with vast cooking pots full of rice and vegetable curries and poppadoms, to be piled high on everyone’s plates- (banana leaves). In this culture the sharing of food is very different from that of, say, France, where one is expected to spend time and to talk over food. Here we seemed to be on a very fast conveyor belt.
Afterwards we went into the marriage hall proper, where the marriage was to take place the next morning, at 6 a.m. It seems that the priest suggests the auspicious time for the wedding. 6 a.m doesn’t sound anything like an auspicious time to me! The Saturday Sunday and Monday just gone were especially auspicious days on the calendar for weddings which would explain why we saw many taking place in other marriage halls on our route. Weddings are extremely good business here, that is for certain. We were then photographed far too much for my liking by a chap with a very bright flash gun. After this the lorry full of Seetaramanpet people departed home, tummies full, but we stayed with Balaji and some of the other young men to go to see the bride, who was waiting with her mother and other women at a nearby temple.
This entailed a short but hair-raising walk along the crazy road in pitch black. Pria had been having her hands decorated with Mehndi, which is the tradition the night before the wedding. There she sat wearing a heavy gold headdress looking somewhat overwhelmed and perhaps rather glum. Suddenly the musical parade arrived, piping and drumming. This was the bridegroom come to fetch his bride. There was a small ceremony of presenting coconuts and bananas at the temple, then huge flower garlands were put around the necks of the happy couple and more flashing of photos took place, with strange passing English visitors to feature much in them. We left to bounce and bump home to RUHSA, leaving the bridal procession walking along the dangerous road. Good job it was an auspicious date I’d say!
Sunday had promised to be a day of rest for us but ‘twas not to be, as many of the One Candle fund students had been in school on the Saturday so we had another morning of giving out bursaries to grateful recipients at the pre-school. Around midday this was completed and we slowly became aware that the teachers and ayah, who had been assisting us, were cooking up something. Sarida the ayah and her daughter Prianka had been chalking a beautiful flower column pattern on the floor of the outer hall in the school which we had admired and photographed. It is remarkable how even and symmetrical the design is, done by eye without measuring. Then Sarida appeared with a bunch of balloons and balanced herself precariously on a chair to tie it to the fan. Next we were summoned to sit in a circle of 4 chairs under the fan, on the flower pattern. Suddenly they said ‘Ma’am, sirs, your 40 years wedding anniversary, celebration!’ and one of them leapt up to spin the fan (the current being, as very often, off) and Sarida reached up with a burning joss stick to pop the balloons. With that glittery confetti showered down on the four of us, the Ruby Wedding anniversary couples! Then we were each of us presented with an ornament as a present. Ours was two swans which turned and played a tune when switched on, and the Morrises was similar, but featured dolphins.
I cannot tell you, but perhaps you can imagine, how very touched we all were by this lovely surprise. It is so typical of the wonderful staff of the Pachaikili centre that they think of what they can do for us all the time. They are simple women with such good hearts who give so much, so generously, though their own lives are quite hard. I for one felt that if we do nothing else to celebrate our 40th, that celebration will remain with us as very very special.
Great to catch up with you guys, and yes what a touching surprise celebration for you all. Guess it's time for more tearful goodbyes and setting off to explore the delights of unseen India and rail travel (think this is whst you are up to!). Meanwhile we are shivering in sub zero nights, ah...they say sounds nice and cool! xxx
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