22nd January

22  January, you say bribe, I say commission

Woke this morning having recovered from my temper tantrum (shared only with my long-suffering house mates, fortunately). We have to live with Rita's Regime, of course, as we work so very closely with RUHSA and soon also with Friends of Vellore. As so often with these things, it is a question of history for us and of relationships built over many years of loving interaction. We understand Rita's rationale completely but I think I felt downcast yesterday because I doubt that Rita understands as much of  our viewpoint.. So, after a poor night of brain-churning I set off to see who I could find on RUHSA staff this morning who might help us go forward. We seemed to have a trip for the children and saris for our helpers/ teachers both hanging in the balance. Vartsala, who is Dr Rita's secretary, had already heard what had happened, of course, and especially of the big trouble which my careless words to Dr Rita had landed Sekar in. She had called me early to ask me to phone Sekar, who had to inform me that he is not now allowed to come on the trip or to have any more dealings with us. I spoke to Sekar on the phone to his home ( he had a day of leave) and he told me that we should draw up a list of what we wanted to fund from our own money, plus one or two personal donations which we had brought with us from friends. I must then take this list to  Sanjeevi the accountant.

I became sad when talking to Vartsala, for lots of reasons, mostly to do with our shared history, the tireless work Sekar has put in for us over twenty four years since the first preschool, the relationship that the Bishopston Kuppam Link has had with RUHSA since 1978, one year after the visionary leader Daleep Mukarji founded RUHSA itself. Poor Vartsala then became very distressed on my behalf and she then phoned round to RUHSA staff to see what they could do to help. This resulted in a brief but very helpful meeting with Sanjeevi and with Matthew, senior training officer (see previous blog re Matthew and his early appreciation of our play method) Andy was asked to draw up a list of what we wanted to fund, then he paid over this money to Sanjeevi who entered it into the Patchikili centre account. This money would then pay the coach for our trip- and a young RCO (RUHSA community worker) name John Peter had been designated to come with us in Sekar's stead. We then tackled the more problematic issue of sari purchase and it seemed to be going to be possible for us to raise a purchasing order and to take money ( our money which had now been put through the RUHSA accounting system correctly) to buy the saris. We hope that Dr Rita will sanction this when she is  back in the office on Saturday, plus ideally a RUHSA staff member to help us with the purchase. 

Feeling at least partially reassured, we then moved to our next luncheon date. Balaji arrived with his cousin to take Andy and me on motorbikes to his aunt's house in Kamanchamanpet, the next village to his and the other village apart from Seetaramanpet from which we take our elderly and our preschool children. On arrival we found Balaji's sister in law Santi in full attendance and also Santi's own mother. There has been illness in this family in the last week, so Santi's mother had travelled from her home, a good hour and a half away by bus, to be with them and to help out. The importance of family and the mutual support that the family gives cannot be overestimated. In a harsh world with very little welfare state, the family is their best hope of survival. After a delicious spread with serious quantities of different dishes, we chatted in our small- small Tamil and their rather more English. Balaji told us how for everything you do in India which has anything to do with the government you have to pay a 'commission'. So for example his father has a Rs1,000 per month pension but he has to pay a commission of Rs 50 each month in order to get it. When Balaji had to get his driving licence he had to pay a hefty commission also. I know from past experience that if you want to be employed as a teacher in the state system you must have a lot of money to hand over first. Who gets this commission/ bribe I wonder? In our discussions yesterday with Richard and Rita they had told me how they discovered that many of the elderly in their day centres are not getting the pension to which they are entitled. Apparently at one time Richard had said to Rita that perhaps he could just pay the commission (which would have been a one-off payment) out of his own pocket. Of course CMC does not allow the paying of such commissions at all and I suppose Richard was at least partly joking. However in the end RUHSA people put in a lot of work with form-filling with the elderly etc etc and eventually they did get their entitlement. None of these fundamental issues are easily addressed and certainly not by visiting English people who pass through every few years.

21st January

21st January, meeting with Dr Rita and with Richard Smith of Friends of Vellore.

A day off school today, so a rest for the saddle-sore bums. I went again to see my friends who were still at RUHSA hospital doing more endless patient waiting before they could go home. Our friend had stayed the night at RUHSA, sleeping on a bench in the canteen room, because he was not allowed to stay in the hospital 'Gents not allowed' I looked horrified and said he could have stayed in our accommodation if he had told me but he said 'No problem' and told me that one time when he was doing building work in Chennai he slept every night on the site. 

We then had a meeting with Dr Rita and Richard Smith, chair of Friends of Vellore, who is over in India just for a week to attend the Christian Medical College Council meeting. As the Bishopston Kuppam Link is in the process of merging with Friends of Vellore ( FOV) it was a happy coincidence that we could meet together with Rita. FOV are supporting several RUHSA projects such as the stall-fed goat scheme, several Farmers' clubs whereby a group of farmers get together to raise cows that are then distributed within the club members, sports clubs for young men, and a training programme for young women who wish to learn about beauty therapy. We went to see this latter and it does look like a very interesting programme. They run a six month course and then the women do six months in a work placement. The course will be certified after an examination at the end. So far it seems to be going very well and should give opportunities for the women to work either in a salon or from their own home, which would be especially good for women with young children. 

We had an excellent lunch provided by the canteen Self Help Group. Following this we had a discussion about our centre and the possibility of putting in a stall-fed goat scheme on the land at the front of the centre. We agreed that we need to cost it more accurately and take advice to be sure that the land would provide enough fodder for the goats. I told Rita that we had originally hoped that our Patchikili pre school would be a model where early years teachers from local centres (called balwadi) could come to learn about the play method of learning. There might also, we had hoped, be scope for making more toys such as we have in the centre, and selling them. Rita took an interest in this idea and said it might perhaps be something which they could consider providing at RUHSA. It would need some thinking about, but it might be that our teachers and the centre could provide a placement for observation of the method. We would have to be extremely careful about the strain on our centre however, which already receives a lot of visitors. The key focus has to remain the experience that the children receive. I still do harbour a faint hope that our model, which has worked so well for the children of KVKuppam, could be disseminated more widely in some way.


I started to talk about the good things which are happening in our centre and especially the way that the elderly interact with the children, to give Richard some idea. At this point Rita became quite interested in what goes on in the pre school and how it is different from most pre schools in India. She has never really shown much interest or visited. I told her about how the teachers feel it impacts on the children's development and how the parents now appreciate this very much. At this point Matthew, the Training officer for RUHSA who had sat quietly in the meeting, told her that he had attended a talk I gave back in 1991 to the RUHSA staff after we had set up the very first pre school. He had asked me then how he might discipline his children without beating them. He remembered my response and he remembered another strong message I gave about the importance of small children having real choices, and then thinking about those choices. He went home from my talk and changed completely his way of behaving with his own children. He said that typically Indian men are afraid to show affection or to build a real relationship with their children because they fear it may interfere with their ability to discipline them. I have to say I was very very moved by what he said, as you might imagine. It is rare I suppose in life that we get such strong feedback about the impact of something one has done or said.

What had been a very good meeting then ended, but not before we had, in a casual conversation with Rita, let her know that we planned to shop in Vellore on Saturday, to buy small items needed for the pre school, and to buy saris to thank the teachers and the other women who help. Rita then went into a very strict mode. This was not to happen. She has set everything up since she took over as Head of Department so that all money transactions go through RUHSA and have to be approved by her, signed off by the accountant and then purchases have to be made by someone else. This is all about making things as transparent as possible, making all procedures the same, and thus eliminating opportunities for corruption as much as possible. I listened with a sinking heart to what she was saying, whilst at the same time with another part of my brain understanding her rationale all too well. As she said, when people are poor we should not put temptation in their way. However it felt as though she was taking yet another bit of autonomy from us. We very much want to give the saris as a thank you and the teachers know that is why we are going with them to Vellore. It is not Link money or RUHSA money, it is from our own pockets. Rita said that does not make any difference. All the elderly centres have to be seen to be functioning the same and people should not feel that one place or person gets more benefit than others. 

Rita is a very strong woman and I certainly did not feel I could go against her wishes. I came out of the meeting feeling very despondent.  Rita's strict controlling style had made me feel that the long history of our friendships and connections was not of any value nor should it be a consideration. However, she is functioning in an Indian culture in which corruption is totally endemic. Perhaps this is the only way in which she feels she can keep that under control. Never a shortage of issues to make us think fairly profound thoughts when we are working here.

20th January

20th January, in which I discover that our two teachers still remember all my words of wisdom from 2009!

I was detained from going early with Jude to the pre school by a call from friends from Seetaramanpet who were in the RUHSA hospital and had been there overnight. I arrived to find that they had been waiting hours to be seen for a blood test and pretty soon discovered the unfortunate fact that my appearance as their friend made things happen very quickly. They shrugged and laughed ruefully when they pointed this out to me and as I tried to tell them that I thought the terrific difference in treatment of locals and of 'foreigners' was shocking. In the end I just had to be glad that I could help them in this small way. The ward sister introduced herself to me and asked why I was there, then said that my friends must ask her if they had any problems. Hmmmm. Once again deep breath and face the fact that this is their 'culture' and it's not about to change any day soon. 

Jude meanwhile had cycled valiantly ahead in order to be at the playcentre early as the children arrived in the morning and to see what happens then. She discovered all manner of lovely play. 

I arrived more than half way through the morning when the children were working in small groups with Rani and Padmini.Rani's group were exploring clay and Padmini's were playing with balloons, blowing them up and then flying them. 

This last photo gives you an idea of the level of excitement that the bunch of blown up balloons generated in the children! 

Whilst the children had their rest after lunch I had an opportunity to talk again to the teachers about their work and how they feel about it. Sekar acted as a very effective interpreter. It is apparent that they love the work and are proud of what the school does. They said that their reputation for how well the children progress is gradually spreading over the years and parents generally seem to value their work. They are sometimes greeted in the street and always given great respect. I asked if they remembered some of the things we had talked about when they were initially trained and during the subsequent refresher a year or so later, citing as an example how important it is to give children first hand experiences, so for example to cut fruits and taste and smell them rather than to just show a picture. Back smartly came the answer that of course they remember that, that I taught them (back in 2009) and of course they have not forgotten! I find this quite astonishing and moving  and so very different from what one experiences in normal life back home.

 The teachers had noticed that I had a very red eye and were fretting about it. They do take a very caring interest in our well-being and always worry for us. I was given advice by Padmini that to cure the blood-shot eye I needed to get up at seven o clock and look at the sun for half an hour. This was her firm belief. Do not worry, reader, I am not following her advice. Then there was a discussion about the health-giving properties of coconut water. This led on to them sending for the night-watchman to come and wield a very long pole they have in the centre with a metal hook on the end. I watched as he did more dangerous balancing on chairs (this happens a lot in not very health and safety conscious India) and was grabbed back just as a potentially lethal coconut fell and hit the ground. It was a very refreshing drink and below you will see the photo of Andy and I drinking out of the same coconut, which they were keen to take.

 

 

19th January

19th January, fruit cake for a birthday celebration

We started the day with a meeting with Dr Rita and Sekar which went very well. Rita raised topics like the need to increase teachers' salaries without us having to, and we had feared she might not accept this. We spoke also about getting a person to replace the night-watchman (who is still, three years on, proving to be a poor workman) with someone who would also tend the garden and subsequently the unit of stall-fed goats which RUHSA would like us to establish in the grounds of the centre. I suggested that Balaji, who long ago expressed an interest in the garden, would be perfect. The only problem is likely to be whether he could accept the very modest salary. At the moment he is taking casual building work when he can, but it is not a steady income. If there was a way for him to do our job and to continue to do building work also, that might be a solution. We will have to discuss it with him. Balaji now has a wife and a child on the way and his older brother, who also has a wife and child  and lives in the family home, used to be employed by BTC but now has to rely on temporary office work. 

RUHSA have a stall-fed goat unit housing 21 goats and they also have a large number of kids now. The return so far in the first full year of operation is very good. They are keen to roll out more such units where there is land available. We looked in on the unit after the meeting and of course it is less than idyllic, as the goats do not go outside to forage at all. However goats who just browse in the environment do a lot of damage and the government is trying to cut down on this.The goats we saw did look quite healthy and they do have some space.  We may well have to swallow any qualms we have about this, and proceed with it. It should make a good profit which will greatly help us with funding the centre over the long term.

On then to the centre, yet again just as the sun was climbing over our heads. Arrived hot and sweaty and not surprised really that the teachers look worried, take my bag, hold my arm as I stagger up the steps and fetch a chair for the decrepit English lady. After a while Sekar arrived with Indra on the back of his bike and Indra was clutching a large cake box. Sekar had purchased from a bakery in KVK an extremely pleasant cake which he called a ' plum cake'. It was light and spongey. I had a Mary Berry moment thinking Mmmn, very light with good crumb! It had a slightly chocolatey taste and had small chopped cherries in it. We had asked him to buy it so that we could do a small birthday celebration of our granddaughter Betty's second birthday, which was yesterday. We gave a piece each to the elderly who then all sang Happy Birthday to Betty with us! The children had their piece with a couple of biscuits when they woke up. Today's school afternoon snack was a hard boiled egg, so these were packed in their tiffin boxes to take home. 

We used the lunch hour to discuss with the teachers the work they do with the children. I was struck immediately by how much they remember of their initial training and the refresher I gave them three years ago when we were last out. They remember for example how we talked about the importance of first hand experience, using their senses, for the children. We will have another hour with them tomorrow lunch time, again with Sekar's invaluable help as interpreter. We are planning to take the children to a park in Vellore for an outing on Friday and some parents will also come. Jude looked a bit pale about the lack of planning or any notion of risk assessment!! Since Sekar told us that on one excursion they thought they had lost a child and had a real panic for some time before he turned up, I did say perhaps we can have a list and do counting them out and counting them back into the bus! 

Back home for keeling over in the late afternoon. I think the temperature is hotting up every day now and perhaps this is what is making us so weary. Or maybe those Indians who see us toil past on our bikes and are astonished to see such aged persons on bikes may have a point. The teachers joked that next visit we will have to have motorbikes and I replied that as I can't ride one maybe next visit it will be wheelchairs...

18th January

18th January, another of the five gives his viewpoint.

At last a chance for Dr Whittingham, esteemed visitor to India, to contribute his first blog. I am trying to concentrate above the cacophony of the zillions of house crows who come to roost every night at half past five-ish in the many tamarind trees on our campus. A bald man, hatless, walks under the trees at his peril at this time. And so a résumé of another day sitting cross-legged (or in my case straight legged) enjoying a delicious meal supplied by the mother in law of one our dear friends, Suresh, in the village of Seetaramanpet. 

At midday two of the lovely men of the village come to RUHSA to fetch Sally and Jude on their Harley Davidsons (well, actually, smaller versions…….) while I cycle imperiously along the back road that leads to the village, shouting Hi to the many people who gawp at the old man on the bike. I pedal furiously, wind in my hair, determined to beat the mechanised duo. However, when Suresh passes me with Jude as pillion he is amazed that an old Thaataa (grandfather) can cycle so fast. They seem to think that a man of 67 should not be cycling in this way.  I then utter a strangled cry as the pointed end of the spring from my bicycle seat decides to remind my left bum cheek of its presence and smile weakly. 

 

We are given yet another warm welcome, fed cups of sweet tea, informed of the progress of the one -day India Australia cricket match, and catch up on the family news. Suresh has a new baby and he works all week in Chennai leaving his wife and daughter at home with his family, so he only sees them at weekends. He does not like this arrangement and next week will move them to Chennai with him, because for six months Veejaykumari is on maternity leave. However, it will be difficult for his wife without the support which her mother gives. But this is what happens to hard-working family men like Suresh. Many educated, local young men and women now work in Chennai during the week living in hostels and come home to their village at weekends.

After lunch I cycle back in a more leisurely way avoiding the bullocks, cow pats and potholes before coming back to our cool flat to prepare for our meeting tomorrow with Dr Rita where we will discuss the finances and future plans for the play centre. Since writing this I am pleased to say the crows have quietened down to a less disagreeable racket and it might be safe to venture out later to the RUHSA canteen for a little light supper – rice and accompaniment of the day !

So for now it’s paarkalaam (see you later in Tamil).   

January 17th

January 17th; when we visit another world entirely.

Today I managed to start the day with a very quick but helpful chat with Sekar, back from his week's leave, so that I feel happier about next week when I  hope that we can talk with the teachers and have an exchange of ideas for the curriculum. After this Andy and I set off on the bone-shakers to Seetarampet (if it's Saturday it must be Indra's house!) Just as we entered the village we could see that Pongal communal games were taking place. This one involved  a cooking pot suspended over the road and then people- starting with children and going up in age- took turns to be blindfolded and then they had to walk forward and try to whack the pot with a large stick. The winning whack would get the prize. As roaming reportage photographer (see yesterday*) I placed myself ready to take video. Next thing I knew both Andy and I had been persuaded to have a go. As I had Suresh walking by my side giving me verbal 'left a bit, right a bit' type instructions I got quite close. The other game played at Pongal is when teams of young men try to help each other shimmy up a very greasy pole, again to obtain a money prize at the top.

We had to leave to get to Indra's house for lunch. Suresh came with us, so that he could explain Jude's absence because she is feeling wearied by a chesty cough which disturbs her night's sleep; and so that he could also explain that we needed to leave by 2 o clock. Our meal was - of course- delightful. Indra is a member of the self-help group which supports the centre and she alternates with Vimula as the cook for the elderly. Padmini stayed to help with chat and she explained that she and Indra have been friends since both women came to Seetaramanpet as new wives of Seetaramanpet young men. Women traditionally move in with their husband's families on mariage. We talked about the importance of friends for women. A huge amount of support is shared by the women of this village. Those who find themselves married and newly arrived here must feel themselves blessed that there are so  many kind souls here to welcome them. Just as we were eating a young woman walked by with her baby girl aged just over a year. Balaji (who had also popped in to watch us) reminded me that she was Pria, the young girl whose mariage we attended towards the end of our last stay. She is back in the village to visit her home because it is Pongal. It was good to see her looking well and happy especially as Pam and I had felt that she looked very overwhelmed and near to tears at her wedding. It must be so frightening for young women to enter mariage with a stranger and to know that from that day on their home is in his home and friends and family are left behind. 

Back then to RUHSA to collect Jude and to set off with Dr Rita to Vellore. She had offered us a lift and suggested that we might like to visit the swimming pool which is on the vast campus of CMC (The Christian Medical College). I have often heard Arabella Onslow, who visits RUHSA frequently as Chair of VRCT ( Vellore Rural Communities Trust) rave enthusiastically about this pool but I was totally unprepared for what awaited us. 

Set as it is in the beautiful grounds of CMC, in a suburb of the hell that is Vellore, it is the very definition of an oasis of calm. There were even warm showers, and the water in the pool was lovely. Such a treat to be immersed after the squalor, dust and traffic. Just what we all - especially Jude- needed to perk us up. For Rs 400, just over £4 for a day pass we could relax and take a break from the emotional and physical demands that India places on us. What a treat!  

The gardens of CMC chapel

This is the life

The cafe did not offer capuccino and a brownie, which would have completed the dream but instead we  tucked into a fairly unpleasant cheese toasty, with sweet bread and processed cheese. We sat in the sun as it was going down behind the coconut palms,  Andy had the Hindu newspaper to read, and we counted our blessings. 

* No sign of the overturned lorry in the paddy field this morning. Somehow that swarm of chaps had sorted it.

16th January

16th January, Cow Pongal day in Seetaramanpet.

This morning when we woke we could hear in the distance the tinny music being broadcast over loudspeakers which heralds Pongal day. In good time for midday we set off to Seetaramanpet along the road through Kavanur. On the way we came upon a huddle of men clustered across the road, considering a large lorry which had overturned and lay on its side in a paddy field. 'Some drunk driver is here' I was informed as I stopped,  in my capacity as  taker of reportage photographs for this blog. Quite how that will be rectified we cannot imagine but doubtless it will involve a lot of chaps standing around giving their opinions very loudly. 

We went first to Balaji's house to return a tiffin box in which Santa had given us some take-away meals-on-wheels payassam for Jude. Come, come in, sit, take coffee, small coffee mam, sir, was the greeting, of course. Before we had coffee however Santa was about to do the pooja, which is a kind of prayer which they do frequently in their homes, and which is special on Pongal festival day. She first arranged photographs of her deceased parents in law and then lit candles, as you can see in the photograph. Then she led us in making the namaste - two hands placed together in a sort of attitude of prayer. All the family were crammed into the small side room which has a pooja shrine corner and incense sticks were lit, which made the atmosphere very smokey and a bit chokey. 

Once the brief ceremony was over we sat to have our coffee and a lentil burger- no amount of saying 'we are just on our way to Suresh's house for lunch, no thank you' etc will prevent this from appearing in front of us, oh and just a quick cup of payassam whilst we're at it. No problem they said, this is only small snack. Delicious of course. Payassam seems to feature milk, jagaree sugar, cashew nuts, cardomom pods, sultanas and noodles. Andy has shown great enthusiasm for this so he  now gets two pots of it at least! 

Off then to our lunch date. On arrival however we discovered a bit of a change of schedule. Apparently communication hadn't worked so well and the family were not sure we had confirmed for today, so when we appeared in the village a bit of rushing around must have gone on behind our backs. As a result Padmini, one of the teachers, who had invited us for Sunday,  had very kindly agreed to give us lunch today instead and to swap so that we will eat at Suresh's in laws house on Sunday.

Keen followers of this blog over several visits might know that Suresh has married into the family of Santi, a widow, who has three (very beautiful) daughters. Suresh has been one of the group of young men in the village, led by Balaji, who have helped us over the years. He now works for Ashok- Leyland in Chennai, doing computer design. He has married Veejaykumari, who is a nurse and lives, now that she is married, in Suresh's home. They had a baby just over a week ago and whilst she has the young baby VJ is living with her own mother. Suresh comes back to the village for weekends. He said to us today that he views his week in Chennai as a necessary evil because he has family  responsibilities, but that he really feels he is  coming home to heaven when he gets on the five o clock train out of Chennai on a Friday.

Santi's oldest daughter Uma lives with her husband and two young children just behind her mother's home and they have just constructed a very nice new home. She does tailoring work at home now as she was an employee previously of Bishopston Trading Company which has now closed. The third sister Veejaylakshmi is home for four days for Pongal. She works doing Software engineering ( I think) in Chennai and lives in a hostel. She too comes home to her village every weekend. Santi's girls were the very first recipients of the One Candly fund. Their story of hardship, which meant that they could not stay on in school as their father had died, so disturbed Pam Morris that she decided something must be done, and thus the idea of the small bursery to fund children to stay in school was born. These girls have done incredibly well- Veejaylakshmi graduated with first class honours. As I took this photo of her with her mother and with Uma, they spoke as they always do when we visit, of how we - donors to the Candle fund- have changed their lives. Better indeed to light one candle than to curse the darkness. 

Back now to Padmini, who had been rushing around chopping pumpkins and potatoes and something called 'elephants' food' - which we have not before encountered and must be googled. Normally she would have been preparing our meal for hours but she had kindly offered to put it all together in about an hour and a half. It was super, of course and we had a lovely relaxed meal with her husband and her two daughters. Afterwards we looked at her photo albums - starting with the large wedding album naturally, then going on to several featuring her older daughter as she progressed from babyhood. One album was all about the special celebration which was held when, aged thirteen, last year, she began to menstruate. She was given her first very lovely sari ( by her grandmother) and made the centre of attention. Padmini explained that this is their custom and that for a fortnight around that time her daughter was given specially nutritious  food. 

After the albums came the Dressing Jude and Sally in Saris. We have always found that our Indian friends want to do this, to dress our hair with flowers and to put a sticker on our foreheads, to make us look altogether  much more glam than we normally do.  See below for results! 

Just at this juncture we were asked by Balaji if we would pop next door to his home. Here we discovered that a large party of visitors, all the family of Santi, Balaji's sister in law, were waiting to meet us. They were full of admiration for our new Indian look, though personally I was less convinced. Then guess what 'Mam, just one coffee, one small coffee' etc etc. I managed to get Jude out of hers, but the umpteenth cup had to be downed by Andy and me. Finally, back to say thank you to Padmini and family, to be divested of our finery, farewells to Balaji and co and also another quick hello- goodbye to Raghu's mum and dad and off we wobbled on our bikes. Alas however,'some puncture problem' for Jude, fortunately not far out of the village. No worries however, Balaji is the original Mr Fixit. So we sat and watched as he deftly dealt with the inner tube and made a makeshift patch. Finally we really were off. 

On the way home we passed lots of evidence of Cow Pongal festival; several games of cricket and volley ball being played; a small procession with a boy leading it, drumming furiously;  several cowpats by doorways decorated with flowers; beautiful column patterns all along the street  and every cow we passed had been garlanded. It had been a perfect festival day for us.