21st January

21st January, meeting with Dr Rita and with Richard Smith of Friends of Vellore.

A day off school today, so a rest for the saddle-sore bums. I went again to see my friends who were still at RUHSA hospital doing more endless patient waiting before they could go home. Our friend had stayed the night at RUHSA, sleeping on a bench in the canteen room, because he was not allowed to stay in the hospital 'Gents not allowed' I looked horrified and said he could have stayed in our accommodation if he had told me but he said 'No problem' and told me that one time when he was doing building work in Chennai he slept every night on the site. 

We then had a meeting with Dr Rita and Richard Smith, chair of Friends of Vellore, who is over in India just for a week to attend the Christian Medical College Council meeting. As the Bishopston Kuppam Link is in the process of merging with Friends of Vellore ( FOV) it was a happy coincidence that we could meet together with Rita. FOV are supporting several RUHSA projects such as the stall-fed goat scheme, several Farmers' clubs whereby a group of farmers get together to raise cows that are then distributed within the club members, sports clubs for young men, and a training programme for young women who wish to learn about beauty therapy. We went to see this latter and it does look like a very interesting programme. They run a six month course and then the women do six months in a work placement. The course will be certified after an examination at the end. So far it seems to be going very well and should give opportunities for the women to work either in a salon or from their own home, which would be especially good for women with young children. 

We had an excellent lunch provided by the canteen Self Help Group. Following this we had a discussion about our centre and the possibility of putting in a stall-fed goat scheme on the land at the front of the centre. We agreed that we need to cost it more accurately and take advice to be sure that the land would provide enough fodder for the goats. I told Rita that we had originally hoped that our Patchikili pre school would be a model where early years teachers from local centres (called balwadi) could come to learn about the play method of learning. There might also, we had hoped, be scope for making more toys such as we have in the centre, and selling them. Rita took an interest in this idea and said it might perhaps be something which they could consider providing at RUHSA. It would need some thinking about, but it might be that our teachers and the centre could provide a placement for observation of the method. We would have to be extremely careful about the strain on our centre however, which already receives a lot of visitors. The key focus has to remain the experience that the children receive. I still do harbour a faint hope that our model, which has worked so well for the children of KVKuppam, could be disseminated more widely in some way.


I started to talk about the good things which are happening in our centre and especially the way that the elderly interact with the children, to give Richard some idea. At this point Rita became quite interested in what goes on in the pre school and how it is different from most pre schools in India. She has never really shown much interest or visited. I told her about how the teachers feel it impacts on the children's development and how the parents now appreciate this very much. At this point Matthew, the Training officer for RUHSA who had sat quietly in the meeting, told her that he had attended a talk I gave back in 1991 to the RUHSA staff after we had set up the very first pre school. He had asked me then how he might discipline his children without beating them. He remembered my response and he remembered another strong message I gave about the importance of small children having real choices, and then thinking about those choices. He went home from my talk and changed completely his way of behaving with his own children. He said that typically Indian men are afraid to show affection or to build a real relationship with their children because they fear it may interfere with their ability to discipline them. I have to say I was very very moved by what he said, as you might imagine. It is rare I suppose in life that we get such strong feedback about the impact of something one has done or said.

What had been a very good meeting then ended, but not before we had, in a casual conversation with Rita, let her know that we planned to shop in Vellore on Saturday, to buy small items needed for the pre school, and to buy saris to thank the teachers and the other women who help. Rita then went into a very strict mode. This was not to happen. She has set everything up since she took over as Head of Department so that all money transactions go through RUHSA and have to be approved by her, signed off by the accountant and then purchases have to be made by someone else. This is all about making things as transparent as possible, making all procedures the same, and thus eliminating opportunities for corruption as much as possible. I listened with a sinking heart to what she was saying, whilst at the same time with another part of my brain understanding her rationale all too well. As she said, when people are poor we should not put temptation in their way. However it felt as though she was taking yet another bit of autonomy from us. We very much want to give the saris as a thank you and the teachers know that is why we are going with them to Vellore. It is not Link money or RUHSA money, it is from our own pockets. Rita said that does not make any difference. All the elderly centres have to be seen to be functioning the same and people should not feel that one place or person gets more benefit than others. 

Rita is a very strong woman and I certainly did not feel I could go against her wishes. I came out of the meeting feeling very despondent.  Rita's strict controlling style had made me feel that the long history of our friendships and connections was not of any value nor should it be a consideration. However, she is functioning in an Indian culture in which corruption is totally endemic. Perhaps this is the only way in which she feels she can keep that under control. Never a shortage of issues to make us think fairly profound thoughts when we are working here.