25th January

25th January, in which we go visiting in Guddyatum and get stuffed

We had arranged a taxi today to take us, with Balaji and Priya, to visit her family in Guddyatum, a largish town which we have never previously visited. Balaji was very late arriving and when he did he explained that he had been to a hospital in Vellore with his friend with whom he does building work. It sounded as though the friend had had an accident at the building site and hurt his leg and his back. When one looks at conditions where building is going on, the statistics for accidents must be horrifically high here. 

I had woken with a small case of Delhi belly this morning, as had Jude (so she stayed home to rest) and  I was hoping for a relatively quiet day and a quick return to my bed for a lie-down but all such hopes were swiftly thwarted on arrival at Priya's home. The whole family was there to see us, which did not surprise me, but I soon realised that Balaji was booking us a quick visit to a relative of Santi, his sister in law, who lived a few streets away; and then another 'quick visit' to the home of Raghu's sister in law, Suranya; oh and lastly the opposite neighbour really must invite us in. We know from experience that in every home something must be eaten or at the very least drunk. Our meal with Priya's family was delicious but large, of course, and my head was beginning to throb as the sun was very hot today. I tried to look pathetic and point to my head and Andy did the same kind of mime, pointing with great concern at my head and indicating I might need rest. Fat lot of good that all was! As Balaji and Partiban whisked us off through the traffic on motorbikes to visit Suranya's house Balaji explained that if we had visited Priya's family, and Santi's family, but not Suranya's family there would have been a great deal of envy and Suranya would have felt very slighted. Indian culture again!

Priya's family, like Balaji's are weavers. This is her father Boopathy giving us a demonstration. It is really hard physical work. Here he is making a lunghi in a pale blue-white which is destined for a Muslim country as Muslim men favour this type of material.

When we arrrived at Suranya's family home, Partiban's mother Magashwari was also there. Whilst we drank our 'one small-small coffee' we talked about the new daughters in law, Priya and Suranya, who have only married into the family of Seetaramanpet men in the last year or so. I had heard Balaji's family before saying that Priya won't eat very much and now I heard the same of Suranya, who only left her family to marry Parti last September. Both girls are only just eighteen years old. Balaji showed me Suranya's wedding photo and pointed out that in it she was more well covered. I asked if perhaps the women were not happy and that was why they were not eating properly. Balaji understood what I was getting at and said that yes it is very difficult for the young women who leave their homes, parents and friends when they  marry and go to an unknown family and village. They are often sad and miss their loved ones. I told them how different it is for us in the UK, but said that when I left my home it was to live a hundred miles away, when I went to university aged eighteen. I too had missed my family and friends at first. I said that even though the girls have married into lovely kind families, it is obviously still difficult for them. 

After a hectic round of visits to everyone to whom Balaji was in any way related, or so it seemed, and sometimes not even related, who lived in that neighbourhood, we returned by taxi. It had been an opportunity for Priya to visit her beloved family and hopefully she will settle and be happier in her new family soon.