26th January 2019

26th January 2019, Republic Day 
In which the flag is hoist, and yet again Indra has to climb on the roof to cut banana leaf plates. 

For the first time in my many January visits to India, today I made it to the Republic Day celebration and flag-hoisting on the campus, with Pam. This involved several long speeches, mostly in Tamil. There were also several presentations by groups of students who are currently on placement here, including a group dance like the Jai Ho dance from the end of Slumdog Millionare, which was a treat.  Santi, the new HOD, made a speech praising the foresight of the leaders from 71 years ago who created the India we have today, which is founded on the principle of all people being created equal in the eyes of God. I have noticed already that Santi doesn't miss an opportunity to talk up equality, especially between the sexes. Today Ganeshan, who retired last year after 30  years as an RCO / Training officer, had been invited back to make a speech and then to hoist the flag. This was an opportunity for Sekar, who introduced him, and then Santi, to commend his contribution to the work of RUHSA. Slowly and in such ways I think Santi is establishing her vision for the ethos of RUHSA. 

Then we were off to Pachaikili in Paul's car ( he is RCO with responsibility for Pachaikili centre). We had asked the teachers and ayah to come in for a discussion, and Vimula from the Self help group had prepared us lunch. Eventually Sekar arrived to join us, having been caught in a meeting with Ruth and Ajit, from Friends of Vellore. They arrived with him just to have a quick word  with us and to see  the centre. Ruth comes to visit every January, on behalf of Friends of Vellore, which is now the umbrella organisation under which we raise money. Ruth had been very encouraged by what Santi had shared with her of her plans. 

The discussion we then had involved first of all the women from the SHG. Sekar had explained that we need someone to take responsibility for activities with the elderly and Indra has volunteered to do this in future. She has shown herself to be very generous and conscientious in the cooking she does for the elderly, so much so that the elderly in our centre have a much more generous provision than those in the other centres. She is also the one who always seems to volunteer to climb up on the  centre roof to cut banana leaves for plates! We then discussed development of the garden area, about which Paul is very enthusiastic. He is wondering if we might grow millet here. RUHSA is about to trial millet on ten acres of their land and we will see how that goes. There have been presentations made to groups of farmers locally to try to enthuse them re millet, which apparently requires a great deal less water than rice, and it is very hardy, will grow in poor soil, and of course is nutritious. 

After this we had lunch and then the discussion with teachers. We looked at the timetable and tweaked it just a little so that there is more free play time, and the children are woken after just an hour of sleep. I talked to them about hopes for the school at last to become a model and the responsibility they will have then when others come to observe their work. I am confident that the staff will be well able to model good practice and I thanked them very much for the work that they do. We discussed record-keeping and I hope that they will plan for the following week's small group activities each Friday, and keep a note of this planning to ensure a variety of provision. They have made some start on keeping a record, with photographs, of the development of the children. The loss of the camera charger has prevented this ! I hope very much that this will be sorted by Sekar/ Vinoth because the records they have kept so far are really good. Plenty of food for thought and for the discussion we will have with Santi on Monday before we leave.

Indra on a bendy ladder...

Tomatoes growing well. One of our elderly men tended the garden, but we fear monkeys will take the crop.

Teachers and ayah. Sarida drew the rangoli

pattern. 

The flag is hoist 

25th January 2019

25th January 2019
In which I will spare you the full Suresh-explanation of what happens at Kali-Amman 

Today was set aside for a visit to Santi's family in Seetaramanpet because it is the beginning of several days of the festival of Kali-Amman. This goddess is the one special to the village, but her statue/ shrine is in Kavanur. During these few days every year she is brought back to her native village where she is greeted with fire crackers, drumming, pipe music and animated dancing. She is paraded through the village slowly street by street and at each house gifts are offered to her, offerings of coconuts, bananas, and money. We wondered where that money goes...? This we witnessed happening outside Suresh's house. We also witnessed someone having a pot of turmeric water poured over her head- we understood this was for cleansing purposes. Suddenly in the midst of the music, the heat, the dancing ( see photo of Brian Morris getting into the groove) one woman - a family member I think- suddenly went into a frenzy of screaming and thrashing and hurling herself about. Several people together tried to calm her, but this proved impossible. Then, after quite a few minutes of this, suddenly she returned to normal. Supposedly the goddess had taken possession of her. 

Suresh and Vijaya Kumari had planned to renew their marriage vows in front of Kali Amman and a family special celebration was to happen. However just a few days earlier Santi's 97 year old mother in law  had died, so the family was in mourning and thus the celebration was considered inappropriate. It will happen next year perhaps. Whilst Santi prepared her lovely food for us Suresh was designated to entertain us. Goodness me, that man can talk! Janice succeeded the most convincingly in appearing to stay with him as he detailed all his theories about yoga ( of which he is now an instructor) and the Meaning of Life. I could not help smiling at the thought of Sceptical Scientist, my usual companion on this trip, and what he'd have made of it all. One thing is for sure, religion, ceremony and festivals/ rituals are absolutely integral to the daily lives of these Indians. We heard that the whole thing gets out of hand by evening time, with the drinking of alcohol by the village men leading to all manner of wildness. We were glad to get home for a quiet lie-down and leave the youth to their excitement. 

 

This is Santi's youngest girl Veejayalackshmi who is home from Chennai with her gorgeous 8 month old Abisha. 

The goddess being carried through the village. 

24th January 2019

24th January 2019 and phew! The parenting workshop is done! 

9 o'clock saw Pam, Jan and me bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at a presentation by Paul Jebaraj on the assessment tool he is planning to implement  for use with all the children in Pachaikili. It is an ages and stages form covering all aspects of development, which is designed for parents to fill in and for teachers then to score so that they get an indication of where the child is developmentally in relation to the norm for their age. It will also provide ideas for activities which teachers and parents might use with the child and it should of course highlight additional needs. 

The form is yet to be translated into Tamil and checked for cultural appropriateness but Paul is very enthusiastic about it. It will be trialled at Pachaikili and he will take responsibility for training the teachers in its use and for monitoring how it works in practice, whether the language used has too high a literacy level for the parents, how the parents respond, etc It could then be rolled out to other preschool settings, such as government balwadi. Dr Santi is very keen on this programme also and has been working with a paediatrican from CMC who will be setting up clinics to be run at RUHSA where children will come for appointments if they are shown to have additional needs. 

After this presentation we had a talk with Rakesh and Sekar re the elderly in our centre. We have been concerned that no one seems now to take any responsibility for introducing them to possible activities. There used to be a caretaker Rani whose responsibility this was, but she was dismissed a year or so back. Today we learned that she had been asking for more money, but there was none available in funds to pay this. Actually we had never felt that she was very good at the job, being rather lacking in go and initiative. Apparently after she lost her job she went around telling people that, because no pooja ceremony had ever been performed on the building ( it being CMC policy not to allow this, as they are a Christian institution) that therefore the place is unlucky and that is why so many of the elderly have died.... Nothing to do with old age then. We had a useful discussion about the way forward and how to revive the good practice which was happening in the centre, when elders and children used to interact daily. We will raise all this with Santi ( 'Shanti-mam') at our meeting with her on Monday. 

And so at last my workshop on parenting could be put off no longer. Duly at 3 approximately 25 staff turned up, many more women than men. I made it fairly informal and asked them to discuss certain issues in small groups, issues such as what they believe about corporal discipline, whether they use it, where they think those beliefs have come from etc. Enough people were prepared to share fairly openly and some interesting discussion ensued, re cultural differences, giving freedom to one's 

children, what their expectations and hopes are for their own children, how to discipline without beatings etc One of the women said that they are just now trying to reduce the burden of stress on academic achievement in the schools in Tamil Nadu because they have realised how narrow and damaging this emphasis can be. An interesting exchange and the beginnings of a debate, at least.

My thanks for input from Jude re this blog. Below I have posted a short video of Rani working with the children who are dramatising the story of Handa's Surprise, which was a gift to the Pachaikili last year.  The children love it!

23rd January 2019

22nd January and 23rd January 2019
A chat with Sekar and lunch at Raghu's posh house, then a day at the Pachaikili centre really cheers me up ! 

On Tuesday I had arranged to meet Sekar to talk about the preschool and any issues. Sekar, it seems, has some concerns that the teachers may be doing too much formal teaching and not giving time to free play. We arranged to have a morning meeting/ training session with the teachers and ayah on Saturday. He also told me that the camera we funded is not being used because the charger is lost. This apparently happened after Dr Rita borrowed it, and because it was Dr Rita no one dared to ask her about it!! Hmmm! The CD player is broken and of course no one now repairs such things, so Sekar would like to replace it with a DVD player. We will plan to do this I think as the children get a lot from music and action songs. 

Onward then to lunch at Raghu's place, super food as always, made by Saranya, sister in law, and Mageshwari ( mum). Balaji also wondered in (a lot of wondering into neighbours' houses occurs here). It was great to natter with Raghu and be able to communicate really well now because of his good command of English. He also now has fluent Thai, which is no mean feat. He hopes that he will be able to get a visa for his new bride but it may be difficult for her to get work. Although she has a good job now in Chennai, she only has two years experience which may not be enough. He wants her to live with him in Thailand, but wouldn't expect her to move out unless she had a job. Raghu will next be home in July, for his wedding. 

Today, 23rd, I decided to cycle fairly early to the preschool, to see as much as possible of the children's day. When I arrived there were half a dozen or so children most of whom were playing in the home corner, where some nice imaginative role play was going in; cooking up bricks in a pot, for samba, tea making, fetching water ( the Boss Girl sent Gopi, a little boy, smartly to fetch it in a jug), washing up, hammering wood, etc. I was fairly quickly incorporated into the game and served many cups of 'coffee no sugar'. The children generally seemed confident to help themselves to play equipment when they wanted to use it, like the puzzles and matching games, and to put it back afterwards tidily. At one point two girls had obviously decided that they wanted to play musical chairs and so they just carted the plastic chairs into the next room and arranged them suitably. 

There were certain times when the teachers called them for milk/ snacks, or to go into two groups for a set activity, and the children seemed to do this without fuss. Halfway through the morning they had five minutes meditation. After a very short bit of noise they quickly settled down, crossed their legs and put their hands in the correct position. Then they closed their eyes and were silent for five full minutes.

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While this was going on the elderly people had arrived and four of them got on with playing a dice game on the floor. I asked about the adult colouring books we had previously bought and they were fetched from the cupboard and everyone had a good stab at it and seemed pleased with their results. We obviously need to remind this new batch of elderly about the activities on offer and to reinstate the time every day when they interact with the children, 

It was now lunchtime and today it had been provided by Vimula, a self-help group volunteer, to the elderly, because she was celebrating the ' baby in the cradle' for her daughter's baby boy. I was bidden along for the party so in the heat of the day ( why do I always venture out at midday??) Sarida walked me to the house. Here there was a houseful of visitors come to celebrate the child at three months. In a traditional family the mother and new baby will return to her mother's home for three months after the birth. Sekar explained that this had two purposes. One, it served as a good contraceptive measure, and two, the mother would be well looked after by her own mother. After this period there is a celebration and the baby is put in a cradle, traditionally made of the mother's wedding sari. So, I was
warmly greeted, selfied many times, given more food and a coffee, and then with many a cheery thank you and goodbye, off back to the playcentre. Before I left I was introduced to Vimula's daughters and to her mother and her grandmother. So in that house that day were five generations of her family- an amazing feat when one considers how the average age of death is very much lower than in the UK. 

Eventually after school my dear pal Balaji insisted that he take me home on his motorbike- me on the back and his young daughter on the front. This did turn out to be a blessing because the sun was still very hot and the cycle ride home is mostly uphill. I waited in the RUHSA office for my room mates who had gone on a shopping expedition- and who had the key to our flat. This gave me a chance to tackle Vinoth again on the tricky subject of the camera charger. He was clearly nervous of me and had brought a Cadbury's chocolate bar to appease me! Anyway, the end result is a replacement charger will have to be bought. There will not be any problem said he..... 

21st January 2019

21st January 2019
A moving conversation about parenting and two on bikes, puffing to Balaji's house.

The day started early for me today with the sound of drums coming form the nearby village, very probably indicating a funeral. As I wrote yesterday, most rituals seem to be set to the rhythm of hand drums. Pam was not feeling too good after the fairly exhausting day we'd had yesterday, which had left her with a migraine, so I decided to hop on my trusty bike and go to the office in search of Sekar, our man who sorts things out. He wasn't available today but we've made a time early tomorrow to meet and plan. I'm suddenly aware that time is running out, and in one week we will be on our way. This pattern is exactly what happens on every visit. I'd mentioned to Sekar that I needed to speak to Mathew, now retired, who was for many years a Rural Community Officer with Ruhsa. 

After I'd put together yesterday's blog from our day in Chennai, I managed to speak to Mathew on the phone. I explained that Dr Shanti, HOD / new Boss Lady, had heard me mention a long ago workshop I'd given which had an impact on him, and without waiting to ask me, she'd arranged for me to give a Workshop again on parenting. Now the original one happened in August 1991, ie before the Internet, before any kind of blogging record. I had youngish children with whom I was communicating in my absence by airmail letter! So, I said, I can't remember what I said . ' I can' said Mathew, and he proceeded to tell me in great deal what we had covered in that workshop. More than fifteen years after this Mathew had told me of the impact of that workshop on his life, but in our conversation today I understood much more about why this was so. 

He explained that in India many fathers have very harsh relationships with their children, they show little affection and they will use a stick to beat the child into discipline. This was how his own father ( who had himself been an orphan) was with him. What I had talked about that day had struck a loud chord with him - and he himself had been using a stick on his children until that point. He went on to read up on the subject, particularly regarding early childhood education, and he became convinced that the more positive approach, using encouragement and affection and explanations, was the one for him. His children are now grown up, both now married and he has a very close relationship with both, both will talk freely to him and confide in him.  He talked about how many problems flow from the way parents expect to have control over their children, here in India, and that this will go on even after the children are grown and married, so problems will arise between the mother in law as the husband will expect his new wife to obey his mother's rule. I was very surprised to hear about fathers beating their children, as when we visit our friends' homes in the village here we see the young dads being very physically affectionate to their children and often also to the young children in the close family. Interestingly Mathew said that his own wife had disagreed with him about his novel ideas on parenting, as she herself is a traditionalist, but somehow they had rubbed along, arguing about it, but clearly with Mathew never giving up on his ideas. Such an interesting conversation and very moving for me as you may well imagine. 

Later in the afternoon Brian and I decided to cycle to visit Balaji and family, our first cycle ride this trip. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy speeding down hill past the paddy fields, past workers cutting the sugar cane, avoiding the dogs and tiny puppies and goats and ambling cows, moving over smartly when a bus or auto blares its horn in warning. A bit dangerous all this on aged heavy bikes and pot-holed roads, but we hope for the best and Ganesh to protect us. At Balaji's house they are building a small covered entrance to their house and the women are helping as well. Balaji's wife is digging here in the photo.

 

The women were really interested to hear about yesterday's event, which only Santi and her daughter attended. They scrutinised the intended bride eagerly and declared her ' super' and very beautiful! Raghu is marrying into a wealthy family. His education has moved him up a league or two, though he won't be forgetting his village friends and family, I'm sure. Currently Balaji is working on a very high building, hanging from a rope, installing plumbing, earning Rs 500 per day, roughly £5. Santhi is stitching sari blouses after her work cooking in a school, earning 50p an hour. As Balaji says ' Mam, India face many problems'. It's still a very hard life for many who are poor like this family. 

20th January 2019

20th January 2019
So much ritual, so many customs involved in an Indian engagement. Even the bridegroom doesn't understand some of them...

Today was an exciting day for us, so up early, breakfast on the roof terrace ( no ratty today) and off in a taxi to Chennai for the engagement ceremony and celebration for our friend Raghu and his bride-to-be Janani. Pam first met Raghu when he was a skinny schoolboy of maybe 13. His local school taught only in Tamil, so Raghu, very much a scholar and top student, decided he would teach himself English at nighttime. So he approached Pam and Brian, keen to practise his rudimentary skills in the language. Over the years of visits we watched him achieve very highly in his subject ( computer-assisted designs for patterns/ moulds, I think...) and he made it to a good English-medium college, then to a good job, and subsequently to work, over three years ago, in Thailand. He does not forget his friends and family, still living in the village, and sometimes struggling for a living. A couple of years ago he constructed an amazing new home for his family just across the street from their old home. Now, at 29, he has found himself a bride, Janani, who lives with her family in Chennai. Historically parents would make the arrangements for the marriage of an offspring but Raghu's patents delegated the job to him, in the age of the Internet. He and his family have already met Janani once, before today's ceremony and the couple are in touch by Internet. Janani is also educated to college level and works as s software engineer. 

For today's engagement the event is mostly funded by the bride's family and the wedding itself will take place in Gudyattum, where much of Raghu's family live, and this will be funded by his family. Today a contingent had come up from the village to Chennai, but the largest number, naturally, were from Janani's friends and family. Raghu thought approximately 400 were present. For the wedding there will be around 1,000. Raghu's family presented Janani with a beautiful silk sari which she then changed into for the ceremony. Raghu was presented with a
 gold bracelet and necklace, and a very swish-looking watch. 

At around 11 ( nothing happens exactly on time here!) a troop of people, mostly chaps, like his brother and father and Janani's dad ( another Raghu) left to collect Raghu from the nearby small temple where some rituals had already been performed on him by the priest. The procession arrived back at the huge marriage hall where we were waiting for him, to the accompaniment of loud drumming. We were to discover that the whole ceremony was orchestrated to the sound of these drums. I was glad, just for this reason, that 'missing sir', Andy, was not with us as the sound is hard on one's eardrums. 

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Raghu's mum with gifts of fruit 

The rest of the day was a long ritual, with the two dads to begin with exchanging garlands and having rose water  sprinkled on themselves, then the couple seated on a white and gold couch, receiving gifts and ritual blessings from a long line of women - including Pam who managed to copy the order of ritual very well. Every single step was much photographed and videoed by the professional phitographers. This all lasted several hours, during which the room full of guests came and went. Eventually we were ushered by Raghu's lovely mum to go upstairs to the enormous dining hall, where we had a really delicious meal served to us on banana leaf plates. By the end of all this the couple both looked fairly weary, and Raghu told us that the garlands they wore all day were really heavy. Finally, they too were released from the ritual and the  photographers

and were able to go and eat. 

 

By now many guests had left- the village contingent to get home after a long day with an early start. We went home with Raghu and his family. The most weary ( like Raghu's sister in law who is 8 months pregnant) slept most of the way home on the floor of the coach. Raghu was happy with the day and delighted with his gifts and his bride to be, we felt. All this will be repeated for the marriage in July, in a much larger scale, and lasting two days. We wish we could be there! 

19th January 2019

19th January 2019 

I'm going to be brief because my wifi connection is so weak that writing and publishing this blog requires more patience than is currently at my disposal! 

It's the heat and dust and squalor and noise that can chip away like the stone masons of Mamallipuram at one's reserves of patience and today we had sights to see, and sight-seeing means importuning by salespeople, and boy that can really do your head in! Anyhow, the day started really well with lemon and honey 'pancakes on the roof terrace for breakfast, only a little marred by Pam and I spotting a medium-sized rat squiggling its way under the roof of the kitchen area. Not to worry, on with the planned excursion to see the beautiful and very ancient shore temples and the other monuments here, an extraordinary huge rock called the 'Butter ball' and some beautiful carvings. The shore temple site has I think been totally transformed by landscaping since I was last here in '91, I imagine after the tsunami which hit this area badly. The heat and the crowds make it hard to take this at a leisurely pace and the pestering by merchants was extremely persistent, but the ancient sights are so beautiful. We ran away in the end to a German bakery which Jan had usefully clocked. Coffee and biscuits where the tourists hang out. 

My favourite- extraordinary huge sculptures 

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The ' butter ball' rock and the shore temples. 

A new law forbidding plastic bags, in Tamil Nadu, 

After some horizontal time on beds under fans we stumbled out once more to sample a different cafe and this time we reverted to curries with lemon rice, curd rice and garlic naan-.absolutely delicious! Our afternoon task was shopping which meant engaging with some shop keepers rather than hurrying past. I was delighted to find gifts for both my granddaughters in a clothes shop which was owned by a French woman who designs the clothes and employs only women tailors. Maybe shades of Bishopston Trading we thought. Then we managed to find a gift to take tomorrow to the engagement party in Chennai for our friend Raghu and his intended bride, Janani. We chose a beautiful carving of several gods in one piece, which was carved by the man who sold it to us. He talked to us about his training-.since he was 15 years old, and about setting up his business. Times are not currently very good, there are nothing like as many tourists here as there should be at this season. He was really pleased with our purchases! 

17th and 18th January 2019

17th and 18th January 2019
Imagine me right underneath the ceiling fan, set on the fastest setting, trying to think myself cool enough to sleep. 

Things are, as always happens about now, beginning to hot up, so the one cotton bed sheet is discarded and the fan will have to whirr all night. Still the locals look chilly and shroud themselves in blankets in the early morning, but our thermostats are set differently! I didn't blog yesterday because we needed to sleep early in order to be ready to set off today at 7.30 in our taxi to Kancheepuram and then Mamallipuram. It was yet another day of delicious special Pongal grub, this time at the home of Padmini who was our first teacher at Pachaikili preschool but who resigned three years ago having gained a school meals supervisor government job in the local primary school. Government jobs are always sought after, being secure and relatively well paid. She tells us that she still misses the pre school staff and children. Padmini is a delight, always full of beans and fun. Her younger daughter, now 11 and about to move on to secondary school, conversed enthusiastically with us in English. Her older sister is studying electronic engineering at college. Both are surely going to do well, like all the girls who live in this street, Om Shakti Coil street. 

Then yesterday evening we were invited to supper at the home of Dr Shanti and her husband. He, it appeared, had cooked the delicious meal, which was quite different from the South Indian fare we normally expect. It was more the sort of dishes usually eaten in the north, which is where they both come from. Also invited were a couple who work in the hospital, she a doctor from Kerala and he aba rather eccentric German chap who spoke little and rather cryptically, so that I really couldn't tell you much about what he does for employment. A pleasant evening of conversation and good food anyway. 

Now we are in Mammalapuram after a hot and tiring car journey. En route we stopped for coffee and breakfast idlee for our young driver, Gunnar, and Pam and I couldn't resist the first dosai of the trip, taken with coriander chutney and coconut chutney- a real treat! Next stop was Kancheepuram, famous for temples and silk saris. We visited two temples and learned from our guide in the second one that it was 1400 years old. Much of the carved statuary and decoration is in sandstone, some of which is remarkably well preserved.  He kept telling us names and relationships of the gods but please don't ask me to repeat them to you! I know Nanda the bull God is well represented, as also Shiva ( with the multiple arms, I think) and certainly Ganesh. 

On then to Mamallipuram on the coast, which three of us are familiar with from previous visits. It's very much part of the hippy trail - and yes, that trail does still exist in various regions of India. You can detect this very quickly by such signs as the presence of pale-skinned folk usually clad in flowing cotton outfits, often nipping about on scooters and to be found in one of the coffee and cake shops. Consequently also there are many people in shops or just walking along the seashore who will be trying their very best to sell you their cotton cloths/ real jewel necklaces/ batik paintings, etc etc We are ensconced at Daphne's hotel for two nights, a modest but very pleasant place in the middle of town. We've enjoyed pancakes and coffee at Joe's cafe and this evening Babu ( much recommended on Tripadviser) cooked me two small whole butterfish and chips-.delicious! This was at Babu's restaurant, and the others had cheese omelettes and chips. From which you may detect that we are all happy to take a small break from over-eating South Indian thali meals! 

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Devotees specially dressed to bring offerings and pray at the temple; plus our popularity ( with special ref to my hat) for selfies, shows no sign of abating! 

Cows, to be found everywhere in India, so perhaps as today on the motorway central reservatIon ( tethered of course!) or on the beach. Ditto Rick Stein, equally ubiquitous, but in his case all over the world. 

16th January 2019

16th January 2019
Today is Cow Pongal!

All this week locally Pongal ( Harvest) is being celebrated and today is specifically Cow Pongal, when often we can see very beautifully decorated cows. I've never before seen a kolam pattern drawn on the ground in the shape of a cow, like these two in front of the house where today's feast will be served to us, chez Balaji and family. 

Regular readers of this blog will know what our feast looked like- another delightful thali plate. For the first time this trip I was defeated by my portion size, so had to pull the top of my banana leaf over the bottom half to indicate that I'd eaten enough- this is the polite way to do it, apparently. Prya and Santa, Balaji's wife and mother were quick to reassure me this was OK, no problem. 

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We had a delightful couple of hours with this, another of our special families, stretching our Tamil and their English as far as possible. The two lovely daughters of Balaji's brother Shankar are in an English medium school and the eight year old is already quite helpful with communication. His younger girl painted two of Brian's finger nails in lurid pink and blue, very fetching; both girls obviously loved my hat; Pam had a lesson in flower-tying ( garland making) which had them in fits of giggles, but in the end Balaji- ever the practical one- showed her how to do it very slowly and bingo! She had it! Balaji's little girl, aged 2 and a half, managed this time to overcome her mistrust of the four large white people and we got some beautiful smiles from her. She is going to be a Patchaikili pupil when she turns three in June. After all the support Balaji has given to us and the play centre over the years it will be super to have his daughter benefiting from it at last. 

After we've been stuffed and decorated with flowers! 

15th January 2019

15th January 2019 
Pongal today so time to visit old pals 

As the Pachaikili centre is closed for the Pongal ( harvest) festival, we had nothing scheduled today. In the morning however Pam, Jan and Brian went to the office building in order to access wifi. Whilst they were sitting in the corridor Dr Shanti came out of her office and they then chatted for about an hour. She clearly values us as old friends of the work of RUHSA and wanted to have an exchange of ideas. Pam tells me that she wants me to address a group - we know not who - on the subject of parenting... So I will have to engage my brain a little.

After lunch in the canteen we took the auto to Tuthitangel, the delightfully-named village where we have friends with whom we have long history. Here Selvi and her mum, Sorja, greeted us very warmly indeed. It being Pongal much cooking had been done, ( lots of rice dishes in the Pongal pot). Selvi's food is always delicious! We exchanged news of friends and family and Selvi was astonished to be told that Rosie, my younger daughter, who was 12 when we first came to the village, will celebrate her 40th in March. Her friend Jacqui who came over from Bishopston when she and Selvi were 16, will become a granny at the end of this month. What a rich and valued history of friendship across cultures we have. 

Home with a food parcel from Selvi, of course, in time for the crow fly-past at sunset. 

14th January 2019

14th January 2019
In which a meeting with Dr Santi brings me to tears

After all that we'd heard already from all directions, we were very much looking forward to meeting the new Director of RUHSA, Dr Santidani. Just before our appointment time she came out of her office and warmly introduced herself to each of us in turn. Given how many hours we have spent outside that office waiting for a series of different directors over the years to deign to see us, this was a good start. Santi, as she introduced herself, is a small woman who comes across as very warm and smiley immediately. No ceremony is to be stood on with her, you feel. 

Over the next almost hour and a half an extremely encouraging conversation took place between us. She is a listener and a communicator. She grasps ideas very quickly and responds to them and in this she reminds me of the original director, Daleep. She told us that they are doing a wide-ranging review at the moment of Ruhsa's aims and activities in order to plan for the next few years. Amongst the ideas which strike a real chord with us, and which tie in with activities in which we have already been involved are: targetted career advice for school children; support for bright children who haven't had the opportunity to learn English yet ( which will hold them back in their careers); targetted interventions for those children whose families do not/ cannot support their education; 

mental health support for adolescents ( substance abuse, suicide prevention); assessment of special needs in infants and programmes of support for all children with special needs. This last one is a huge issue for special needs are barely considered in much of India and many children and their families will go unrecorded and unsupported. It is obvious that Santi wants to think large scale on this issue in particular and she is already talking and planning with a CMC paediatrician. 

In talking about the importance of involving parents in their children's education I mentioned that this had been one of the foundation principles of the learning approach which we had introduced at Pachaikili. Santi listened with interest and then suggested that we could use our centre to model early years practice and spread it to balwadi teachers in the area. This is when I could have burst into tears, because of course it was what we very much had hoped to do when we first set up the school as a model. We could all of us have gone on talking for hours but Santi of course has a very busy workload. Eventually we had to stop but she suggested a meeting with her on 28th January to discuss some of these things in more details and she invited us to supper on Thursday too. She also said that we must feel free to drop by at her house! 

As we all agreed afterwards, what an inspirational woman, and what hope now for Ruhsa's future! This poster is pinned up next to her desk.

And Alleluia to that! 

In the afternoon we went to Seetaramanpet and I got to see the new and amazing house which Raghu has built for his family. It is beautiful and all funded by the work Raghu does in Thailand. He has such a sweet and grateful family ( more touching of our feet to honour us, by Mageshwari, Raghu's mum)  We are all very much looking forward to the engagement party for Raghu and his intended bride Janani, on Sunday, in Chennai, for which Raghu has organised three mini buses. 150 locals are going!! 

After an absolutely terrifying ride home through KVKuppam rush hour we stopped for drinks 

at Grabb a coffee. Suddenly a gaggle of student nurses appeared who were very keen to take selfies with us, though heaven alone knows why! They were particularly taken with my hat I think!