BLOG 19

January 31st, Sunday, a time for farewells (and much sobbing, of course)

Pam, Brian and I set off after breakfast to cycle to Poonsoli, the village where the Morrises have good friends, made when they first came out to investigate Indian village life for the website which Pam has since set up. The friends are a large and expanding family, with a matriarch Alumelu who holds them all together and is now called upon to look after the new babies produced more or less each year. Two of the family have had love marriages and two of them have also built new houses close to the original home, whilst a third is almost completed. The family were immediately really welcoming and each of the women wanted us to go to her house for coffee. In the end we got away with just the one cuppa, lots of photographs and, curtesy of Selvi who had come to translate, we caught up on family news. They all work really hard and are not terribly prosperous, but seem to get by.

Following this enchanting meeting with such a lively and welcoming family, we cycled to return our bikes to RUHSA and to see Mr Immanuel for a last chat. He is such a lovely man and always has a broad smile and often a real belly laugh. I found it hard to say goodbye, perhaps the more so this time because we haven't really seen enough of him. After this we went in Mani's taxi to Sekar's village, Nagal, for lunch. Both his daughters are now married, the younger one still a student and living at home. The older girl, who has a baby of sixteen months, now lives with her husband in a house a few doors down the street. She is about to start back as a lecturer in a college in Gudyatum. Sekar is very keen to tell us how he is an unusual man who has brought up his girls to be very independent from a young age, and they have each had very simple weddings, and then been given 5 lakhs to use instead to buy a house. He also tells us that he is always telling villagers that this is what they should do- as still in India families can be ruined by taking out huge loans for a daughter's wedding which they can then not afford to service. I fear it may be some time before Sekar changes the traditional ways especially of rural India..

After lunch we went to the playcentre, expecting to find our new elderly people ready to meet us at 3, and young Candle Fund recipients at 4. Needless to say, it seemed to be quite the other way round, and the place was full of young men and women. There then followed a lovely and very moving ceremony, when Joseph, the new RCO for the area, talked to the recipients and explained about how we hoped some of them would- in years to come- repay their bursaries, so that others could have the same help as them. Several of the young people then stood up and spoke, when encouraged by Joseph, about how well their studies were going- some were clearly getting high marks- and about what a difference the bursary has made to them. Joseph then explained that we had set up a very small committee of just himself, Sekar, Balaji- and at the last minute, requested by Balaji, his friend Jegan. Shanti has decided not to stand after all. The aim is for this committee to take responsibility for running the Fund more and more. Much emphasis was put on the fact that we old English folk are not getting any younger and the day will soon come when we can no longer carry on! So it is important that the village takes ownership of is as much as possible. Oh and one other super moment. Joseph fancies himself a bit of a wag, so introduced each of us with some humourous tale relating to our name. When he got to mine he said it was like to Tamil word for 'nose sputum'- that's snot to you and me! I must have looked crestfallen - fancy all these years and no one mentionned it- and Padmini said 'Don't worry, it's only a joke'!

Eventually after many photographs and lots of thanking, we wound up that meeting and moved into the next business, which was to meet our elderly people. The committee who will be running the day centre were also there, and in the kitchen the ayah and Rani the teacher were very busy making kessari- a sweet- for everyone. The elderly were introduced one by one - 4 men and one woman from Kamanchamanpet, and 5 women from Seetaramanpet. We were delighted to see one- very fit looking chap- is the same age as Andy! The rest are older, in their late seventies and early eighties. We explained what would be on offer at the centre and they all seemed pleased to be coming. The women of the committee then volunteered that they felt sure that they would receive donations of food- apparently people often do this when there is a wedding- and they said that they would be happy to cook lunch for the elderly when this was possible. They understand that we cannot afford to pay for lunch daily, but clearly feel that the community will get behind the venture. At this point one man who is a village leader I think stepped forward with our first donation of Rs 50. A lovely moment, and it left us feeling very optimistic about the elderly centre, plus our beneficiaries do seem delightful.

When all this was over, we just had farewells to say to our teachers, the ayah and our village friends. The teachers had sent to K V Kuppam for a gift for us to share of a glass Taj Mahal which lights up- I absolutely love it, kitch as it sounds, I think because of the love with which it is given. We went then to Padmini's house- for snacks and the giving of even more sweets and bangles, then eventually were able to extract ourselves from there with difficulty as it seemed as if the whole village of Seetaramanpet was intent on keeping us there. A quick farewell and tearful hug to Balaji's mum and the rest of the family, and to Raghu's family, and eventually we bundled into Mani's taxi and left in a flurry of waving and goodbyes.

An emotionally exhausting day was almost over, except for thank yous and farewells- and sandelwood garlands presented by Selvi and Arul and Dhandabanni and Vijaya, back at the guest house, which had been our lovely home from home for three hectic weeks. Hard indeed to leave, but all in all, quite a lot achieved in all our aims (Marilyn setting up English teaching; Centre for the elderly equipped and opened; Candle Fund committee set up; Playcentre training given and development for the future set in train) Oh and -surely a miracle this- Pam has internet banking with her Indian account... Although of course, best not to talk too much about that, as it's illegal for a foreigner to have such an account. Up early in the morning for a flight to Goa for a rest from all the emotions and time to assimilate it all.

BLOG 18

Hands in Friendship Held

This land, in spite of language
Long ago imposed, and now entirely yours
Gone native, is like the past
Another place where difference is the rule
Exotic foreign otherwise
And so for us who visit
Adjusting can be hard
The many daily culture shocks
A puzzle, bringing stress
But also sudden, bolt from blue
A rush of sheer delight
As gorgeous perfumed jasmine flowers
Are pinned, with love, to deck our hair
Or taste of local cooking
Taught by mother carefully to daughter
Our tradition you say proudly
Like your culture ancient with deep roots
But most of all the gift you give
Of friendship from the heart
Untainted still and pure
Sophistication not yet come
To village Indian life
So love declared with smiles
And hugs, and hands in friendship held
All ages mixed no shame
No need for ‘cool’
We take a trip to earlier times
A voyage to the past
Before modernity was born
An age of innocence
And blessed we are time-traveling thus
A world away, enchanted in this land