Mothers’ Day 2024

Mothers’ Day 

In the cut-out squares, pinked, so unfrayed 

perfect

top left the sun at dawn 

gilding the layered land. 

Next the gift of tulips, purple, not yet languid 

a swarm of tiny bees, mimosa flowers 

then Lily’s memory of games we played 

tea party in the fig tree (hidden) 

Next row left to right, too-early blossom 

plum and almond, bride white, 

Bee’s message to her mum, love letter 

my mum, laughing. 

Along the bottom, blessings 

peaceful hours, log fire, the satisfaction of squares 

complex pattern, dark and light 

friends loved and lost. 

Patchwork pieces, a one day, Sunday 

legacy of loveliness. 

March 11th 2024, Hounoux 

Last day. There will be tears…

 Monday 22nd January

KVK bakery 

I knew today was going to be emotional because emotions are never far below the surface whilst we are here, and today I’d be saying goodbyes. Because of our unscheduled 9 days in CMC we had failed to get to lunches with several families in Seetarampet so I wanted at least to go and see them to say hello and goodbye. I began however at Pachaikili school where I was bidden for lunch. 

Needless to say Balaji was my trusty guide in all this, arriving in his friend’s auto to collect me from the guest house. On the way we called at a rather enticing looking bakery to buy a large cake for me to give to the elderly, the children and the staff at Pachaikili as a small thank you. Cake is always appreciated by young and old, I remember from previous visits. Fortunately the long division was done  for me, as it was expertly cut into 43 pieces ( a puzzling number I thought!) 

On then to school where I was greeted by staff all in identical saris and by a beautiful peacock pattern chalked on the ground, today being Peacok festival day. 

Whilst I’ve been here I’ve joked often with the teachers that they all seem to be wearing the same colours and I asked if they called each other in the morning to let each other know what today’s team colour was. In response to this Rani, Priya and Indra went to Guddiyatum over the weekend and bought identical saris for all five of them, plus a metre each of material for the sari blouse, which was sewn into blouses by the local tailor. I was so amazed and thought they looked beautiful! 

I then had lunch, watched by them all, and then they had theirs together. After lunch a photographer - local man whose daughter used to attend school- came to take a class photo with me in it. Subsequently Andy was photoshopped into it since he was missing for the photo! 

All that remained then was for me to distribute cake to the elderly and the children then for me - after promises to Rani and Priya that I would do my very best to ensure they get their annual bonuses plus an annual increment- to bid them all goodbye with hopes and 🤞🏼🤞🏼🙏🏻🙏🏻 that I’d be back next year. 

From school then to the home of Umma and family. Regular readers will remember that this is the family who were the inspiration behind The One Candle Fund. Originally there were the  two teenage schoolgirl daughters who cried as they told Pam that they would have to leave school early because their father had died so their mother was struggling with her family of three daughters. 

All those daughters are married now with children. Umma the oldest earns a living sewing at home. Her two teenage boys are doing well at school. The next daughter Veejaya Kumari is a nurse at a local government hospital. She is married to Suresh ( theirs was a love marriage)  who still works in the week in Chennai. Their daughter is now 8 and seems a live wire, confident girl, doing well at school of course! The youngest daughter Veejaya Lakshmi is married and living in Chennai and has a six year old daughter. 

It was fortunate that Suresh was working from home so we were able to have the usual lively chat with him. They showed me plans and a photo of the foundations of a lovely new house which is being constructed just round the corner. I was pleased to hear later from Balaji that he will be doing plumbing and electrics in the house. Some decent money in the offing for Balaji is very welcome. Suresh, Veejaya and daughter and mum Santi will be living there. This family have done well for themselves from very ordinary village roots, by studying hard and being very determined. They -as always- were keen to give thanks to Pam and the One Candle Fund which they really believe made all the difference to their family. 

On next to the lovely house which Raghu had built for his family, just round the corner from Suresh and co. I was delighted to find Raghu’s wife Janini in residence with their two year old daughter. Sister in law, mum and dad all appeared and coffee was rustled up for me. I’d had a delicious helping of payassam at Suresh’s place, inevitably, but very filling after my large lunch at Pachaikili! Mercifully just a coffee was allowed at Raghu’s place. 

Suresh with Raghu’s baby. So common here to see men showing affection to the family children at least as often as the women doing the same. 

Raghu’s dad with his granddaughter 

We video called him at his home in Adelaide Australia whilst I was there. For many years from when Pam first met Raghu as a schoolboy who studied English in his own time, at night time, it has been his dream to be able to get work and migrate to Australia. Now he’s there, has a good job he enjoys, and has a home to which his wife and daughter will come next month. Raghu will come back to his Indian home in February when Janini’s sister will be married in Chennai, and afterwards the family will travel to their new life in Adelaide. It is amazing to have been able to watch this family and Suresh and Santi’s grow and develop and move towards fulfilling their dreams and hopes..

My farewell tour of Seetarampet concluded then at Balaji’s home ( one more small portion of payassam..) One last cuddle with baby Sally, hugs from everyone else and the fervent wish and  hope repeated that we will return next year. I do hope so.. 

January 23rd 

A quiet day before our long flight through the night. I paid our bills and went to have a talk with Dr Biswajit in which he promised to ensure the school staff get their increments this year and regularly annually. He will also make sure the school equipment is renewed to a good standard. Here’s hoping for that! 

Back home to Ruhsa

Balaji and family 

Rani, Indra, Priya and me

Back home to Ruhsa

By Friday afternoon we’d seen the doctors, nurses, physios and collected drugs, paid the bill and were ready to wave goodbye with many thanks for 9 days of excellent care. It was good to be back at the guest house and no longer to be being disturbed by medical personnel carrying out procedures at very regular intervals throughout the night and day!! Andy’s leg is still very painful so walking is difficult. 

Saturday 

On Saturday the visits from concerned friends began. Balaji arrived before 8 with a bowl of payassam, Andy’s favourite, which he now seems determined to bring every day. Then at 12.00 Rani, Priya and Indra arrived, with flowers for my hair (9 days no flowers!!) and then sent Balaji off on his bike to fetch cake for us. ( They had arrived on two bikes, Indra’s and Balaji’s) 

It transpired that Balaji had sent a photo of Andy in hospital to Rani in which he looked ghastly, so they had all been really worried about him. They were much relieved to see him looking more in the pink. I reassured Rani that I’d spoken to Ruth and would speak again to Dr Biswajit about the issues re funding/ equipment at the school. I promised I’d go to school on Monday in time for lunch. 

Later that afternoon Balaji’s third visit to us, this time with the family. So lovely to see them, and so pleased I could offer them cake! For once me offering food, rather than having it pressed upon me! 

Sunday 

Just one visitation today, from Balaji and his daughter Subashri, to bring us payassam of course, plus some fried fish. I had made the mistake yesterday of mentioning that we like fish! Subashri greeted us with kisses then put flowers she’d brought specially in my hair. 

We ate our lunch and I was so pleased that Subashri accepted to eat some of what we had, since the canteen always sends far too much for us. 

Afterwards Balaji asked her to wash up. I joked ‘ child labour’ but he corrected me ‘ training’. She is such a delightful girl, a real credit to the family. 

I will put in the box

 

I will put in the box 

Not just one, instead a stack, shiny, clever 

of tiffin boxes, tightly clipped 

and first 

that all-pervading everywhere aroma

woodsmoke, spices, dust

Indian essence

with blare and startle of horns and high-pitched peep

in and out auto, car, overloaded motorbike and bus, 

wandering cow, munching 

new road, three lanes, no rules apply, weave/wander 

for gods sake stay alert! 

Lime-green paddy waterlogged 

houses in pink/ magenta/ turquoise, saris red and orange and yellow 

flowers in your hair 

here the hottest hues 

no beige, no bland. 

Like the past, another country 

they do things differently here 

although WhatsApp calls and Selfie! One more Selfie! 

could fool you otherwise..

Noise and sweat and dust, crows at full volume 

long wail of the train passing, over the points, over the points, 

all filling the tiffin boxes, magical 

between the sambas, rassam, rice and dhal, chapatti, dhosi, lentil cakes and idli, curd, 

and special pyassam, warm milk with cashews, raisins, sweet treat. 

All this is India, my India 

plus  mingled memories, the years of coming, from forty two to seventy five 

mum to granny, 

our friends once schoolboys fathers now and proud 

scraping a living somehow, though ‘India small money ma’am’ 

but no tiffin tower, however tall,  could hold it all 

the light in their eyes, the smiles and the laughter 

the namastes and hugs across the years and many miles 

culture and language no barrier, not separated 

nothing between us except love.

21st January 2024 Guest House Ruhsa 

I will put in the box

 

A week in CMC hospital with Mr W

Looking out on a fairly heavily-polluted Vellore from our hospital room. 

11th January to 19th January 2024 

Things were going so well last time I wrote on this blog . We’d had such a good talk with Sekar and with a few other good friends. However somewhere along the way- actually as he was walking up the steps into the government school on Tuesday 9th- Andy grazed his leg. It didn’t hurt much and he took little notice of it. Early the next morning he woke up feeling hot and confused. He seemed to have a raised temperature. For most of Wednesday he did a lot of sleeping and we cancelled lunch in Thutitangel with Selvi. In the early hours of Thursday he again woke and was clearly very poorly, with a fever and dehydration which was making him confused and weak. 

Alarming as this was for us both, it would have been so much worse without the helpful staff of Ruhsa, one of whom was on night duty and came quickly when I rang him. He called the doctor for the campus, Dr Prashanth, who is our neighbour. In short order we were on our way to CMC in an ambulance. We went immediately to A and E where a huge number of young medics were milling about. Andy was seen very quickly, the Ruhsa doc having contacted them ahead of our arrival. I answered questions about his medical history many times over to a succession of doctors. Eventually a very competent-seeming woman doctor who was obviously a senior medic spoke sternly to get someone to fix up a fluids drip asap. I relaxed a little as it had seemed important to me to get this going! 

The end result of all this was that Andy was admitted to a single room with en suite bathroom. 

In A and E 

Andy and I installed in Room 611 for the next 9 days. 

Andy’s attached for the first several days to a drip of fluids and another one for antibiotics. My space is that brown bench. It is expected in an Indian hospital that a family member will stay with the patient to help with care. It was hard ( to the touch, not difficult!) but I did manage quite a good few hours of sleep. 

Over the days we were constantly in touch with Allan at Ruhsa who sent a gofer ( Chandravanan or Chinnathambi) every day to be helpful and they certainly did make things easier for me. In addition we had more or less daily visits from very concerned Balaji and on several days from Selvi plus friends of Selvi. It was very comforting and touching to be so well looked after, though of course as we have experienced here so often, the constant presence of people and especially their need to ply us with lots of home cooking, can feel oppressive to us Brits who are used to more privacy. There is no doubting the warmth, concern and kindness that our old friends feel for us.

Balaji helping Andy do his short walk- being his walking frame..

Whilst we were in Vellore the important spring/ harvest festival of Pongal took place. We have experienced this many times over the years. It means yet more cooking of special dishes ( eg sweet Pongal rice in a special Pongal pot) ; drumming especially in the evenings; firecrackers; temple visits and puja prayers. We could hear it outside the windows from our sixth floor room. 

The standard of care we had in the hospital was absolutely excellent. There were so many staff, cleaners, nurses, doctors, physios, catering staff, all of them so smily and efficient. Of course such care does not come cheap and the ordinary not well off folk we know would never be able to pay. They have to make do with a government hospital. 

Eventually the elegant smily reassuring Dr Annanaran, in charge of Andy’s case, declared he could be discharged so now, Friday 19th, we are back at the guest house in Ruhsa. We should have flown back to the Uk on 16th, but have rescheduled f for Wednesday 24th. Fingers crossed for that. A quiet weekend we hope, ahead of us… 

Meeting with a dear old friend

Tuesday January 9th 2024 

We had arranged to meet up with our old friend Sekar this morning at Pachaikili. Sekar was the RCO ( rural community officer) at RUHSA from our earliest visits here in 1991 and 1996. We really struck gold in having him designated to look after us because he is an intelligent man who has a huge sense of duty to his work with the poorest in the community. 

Sekar has now been retired for five years ( I think) but he retains an interest in Pachaikili and is much respected by the staff here. Many years ago in the 90s Sekar came to England and stayed with us. During his stay we tried to give him as much experience as possible of British early years education. He grasped underlying principles really well and took back what he’d learned and subsequently used it in the ongoing training he gave to the teachers in our little nursery schools ( back then there were 3 ). 

After we had caught up on family and how they all were, we talked about how Pachaikili is now. He knew immediately that there are two big issues: the urgent need to replenish the play equipment and the fact that the staff have only once in the last five years had their annual Christmas bonus and their incremental pay increase. He remembered that I had written this out very clearly st the end of the last visit, and I explained that I raise both issues each year at the annual general meeting of FOV ( Friends of Vellore) His main conclusion is that there is a failure of RUHSA staff ( Charles I think) to implement this. Funds have been sent by FOV to buy play equipment. We decided that I must spell out to Dr Biswajit very clearly what needs to happen! 

Sekar had brought a bag of small chocolate sweets for the school. He explained that recently at home they had a pooja ceremony for Bala who I think is a child-god. Being a child this god loves chocolate. The bag was left over from gifts to chocolate-loving Bala! 

Sekar is seated next to Andy. Also in the picture is Karunamurthi, who came to see us after I got Sekar to explain that we really didn’t have time to come to eat at his home!! Karunamurthi was an important person in the early days of our visits, as he was head of the weavers cooperative in Kamanchamanpet. Bishopston Trading worked with him for many years on the production of cloth for their garments. Now again he is working with Jaki on cloth weaving for the line of children’s clothes she is designing and having made in the village. 

From the school we went next for lunch at the government primary school which we visited a few days ago. Heaven knows why, but we had been invited by the teachers and one of them had made food for us. Again the familiar pattern of us seated in front of tables, someone ( Balaji I think!) designated to chop down banana leaves for our plates, and then interested gawping at what we are, with lots of attempts to refill the plate as soon as we’d managed to eat anything! The daughter of the teacher who’d cooked the food ( after she got up at 5 a.m to prepare!) was there specially to communicate with us. She’s at VIT ( Vellore institute of technology) doing a Phd in physics. Yet another daughter of the village studying STEM.