January 30th and 31st

January 30th and 31st, the merciful whirr of fans, A/C and  the rolling crash of the sea.

One last delicious breakfast from smiley ShIbbim, one more wobbly stagger up the gangplank, a farewell to my new FB friend (oh dear!) Saju and we were off for the next part of our tour, to Marari beach, just about half an hour away on the Arabian Sea. The wonderful Rajesh had promised good accommodation and as ever he had not let us down. We are in a large three-bedroomed Home Stay bungalow, which has serious mod cons like A/C and hot water and tiled floors, but most importantly of all, two more lovely chaps to minister to our every need. They are Sanjay, the cook and Anil. So far we have had small strolls up the beach and long lounges in the breeze from the sea with books and crossword puzzles and freshly-squeezed fruit juices. Yesterday Jude and I took a stroll along the water's edge as the sun was setting and what a paradise it all seemed to be. Maybe slightly spoiled by the dead dog on the sand and the many- oops, be careful!- small piles of poo. Not dog-laid poo either. Still, as my daughter Rosie would say 'Tralalala, let's not think about that!' 

The temperature here has been rising by the day and really would be unbearable if not for fans and A/C, which inspired me to write this poem. 

Thin as a stick

Thin as a stick a lizard lurches
slips down the door frame
freezes still
the air in the room mercifully moves
fan-swirled
a ghost of a breath
my body beached, beaten by the heat
evaporates the sweat, wet, in rivulets
coconut fronds wave
desultory, flicker and clack
as January days grow hot
glass is rising, daily soars
my body, beached
no lizard
is beaten by the heat 

January 31st, Marari Beach Home Stay

January 28th and 29th

January 28^th and 29^th, in which we experience a life of luxury in a houseboat on the backwaters.

When I woke after a good few hours of sleep on my bottom bunk, in a compartment shared with Jude and a couple of unknown Indian chaps, I looked out of the window of the Chennai to Alleppey Superfast Express to see a very green and lush landscape, neat houses amongst coconut and banana plantations. We were in Kerala. We managed to get ourselves and our unwieldy bags onto the platform at Ernakkulam where shortly a man approached me with an ‘I think mam you must be Mrs Sally Whittingham.’ It was our man in Kerala, Rajesh, and every bit as charming in the flesh as he has seemed in the many emails we had exchanged. 

On hearing we had not yet had breakfast he saw us to a very luxurious large car, which had clean white cotton seat covers. I could see from Jude’s face that she was struggling to adjust to this different style of living, from the very basic to the luxury end. A person could quite easily get used to this, was my thought as I gave over responsibility for the heavy dirty bags to a strong chap and prepared to be looked after. We started with breakfast in a hotel, which was a special Keralan type of dosa, very light and crispy and cheese flavoured. Then Rajesh said his farewells and wished us a good trip and we set off in the car for a two hour drive to Alleppey, where our luxury houseboat awaited us. Kerala is so different from the places in Tamil Nadu which we know. There is much more of a feeling of space, the roads are wider, and the towns less filthy and overcrowded. I fell asleep again but Jude stayed wide awake despite having not slept on the train, and she did report several hair-raising moments during the ride. Indian road travel is never going to be anything other than scary and dangerous I fear. 

 Ferry rowing boat across the waterway

Fab feast courtesy of Shibbim

At Alleppey our houseboat awaited us and our delightful three man crew with it. There is Shibbim the cook, Sargu the service organiser and the captain/ pilot Bikrish. The boat consists of two double bedrooms with ensuite bathrooms, the large open sitting/ dining area and the kitchen at the back where Shibbim works his magic. We set off up the backwater canal and almost immediately were presented with delicious squeezed lemon drinks. Our day was to consist of quite a bit of sitting and watching the scenery go by, the giant areas of rice paddy, the coconut palms, mango trees, glorious riots of bougainvillea, other trees in full bright yellow blossom, the pretty Keralan-style houses with large verandahs and often pink-washed walls, and last but not least the huge variety of birds everywhere on the water. There are hundreds of black cormorants which stand on sticks which rise out of the water, waiting for a catch; very many white egrets of all sizes, standing in the water or in the paddy;  kingfishers flashing by in a blue and orange blur and as we moored one day we also saw a bright green bird which was tapping on a tree trunk to make a home for itself, which we thought at first must be a woodpecker but later decided looked a lot like a barbet. 

 Captain Andy takes a turn

Fetching a coconut down.

During the day from time to time we moor up and Sargu announces we are off for a walk into the village, so we walk along the riverbank, next to paddy and through coconut and banana trees. He tells us how until about ten years ago the waterways really were thoroughfares for everyone, as there were hardly any roads or bridges. We have seen the ferries which run like buses along the canals, special school bus-boats, small skiffs rowed by elderly chaps who are still strong from their daily rowing, which are the ferries that take people from one bank to the other, many small boats filled with different sorts of cargo, fishing boats, and moored up at the side of the water some enormously long racing boats called Snake boats. These latter are raced with huge crews of 110 man, including five steerers who sit over the rudder at the back and six or seven who bang drums and blow horns to keep the rhythm.  Sargu showed us video of a race, held in August,  which was incredibly fast and fiercely fought, between boats from different villages. 

Sargu tries to point out interesting things for us and he has told us how mostly on one side of the

 

This is a supermarket which travels up and down the waterways

water are Christian homes and on the other side are Hindu homes. He himself is a Roman Catholic. The Roman Catholic church has very many churches in Kerala, dating back to when St Thomas the apostle first landed in Kerala and walked the country preaching and founding churches (seven and a half the information always tells you and I puzzle over the half church) We visit a very old church, originally founded in 400 and something A D.

The highlight of our first day was a visit to an Ayurvedic centre which offered many different kinds of massage. Andy and I said we would have a go and we both agreed afterwards that it was an extraordinary and invigorating experience. A tiny Indian woman set about me very purposefully. I was to wear my birthday suit with nothing allowed for modesty. Oil was poured first over my scalp then over every part of me, and it was worked in with great vigour and pummelling and slappings. She might be tiny but she certainly packed a punch! After an hour of this she ran a bucket of hot water and sat me in the small shower/ toilet and proceeded to soap off all the oil and to bath me in this wonderful warm water. I had imagined I would remain oily and slippery for ages but her bathing had me feeling clean and refreshed and not at all greasy. I came out feeling so good and already planning for the next possibility of a massage before we leave Kerala. 

 Sunset on the backwaters and a bat hanging on a wire, under an upside down half moom

 Sunrise on our last day

The whole luxury houseboat experience is delightful I must say. It is plainly very big business during the season also, for tourism, as there are many boats like ours on the waters. We are supposed to be an eco-boat but we rather doubt the eco credentials, I fear. The very best thing is Shibbim’s superb Keralan cooking. He makes typical dishes of the area which involve a lot of coconuts, bananas and fish, served with Keralan rice which is a very large grain. In between meals there are fresh fruit juices, and pineapple or banana fritters- just delicious! We are now getting ready for our second night of sleep whilst rocking gently on the water, with the A/C on to help make the room temperature bearable. Tomorrow we will be leaving for a beach resort and I am sure that we will leave feeling very much more relaxed than we did on arrival.

January 27th

January 27^th, ‘There are no goodbyes between friends’

Our very last day today, before we were to  leave for our short holiday in Kerala. A lot of loose ends still needed to be tied up before we could feel quite happy with what has been achieved this time, and all of them hinged on our morning meeting with Dr Rita. For various reasons we were anxious going into this meeting.

All began well with a recap of what we were going to agree re honoraria for the teachers (not to be called a salary in future as this might imply more rights as RUHSA employees than would be wise) and re the contentious issue of the purchasing of saris as gifts (NB NOT to be called a bonus). Dr Rita explained in some detail, again, the strict system for payment of money into CMC/RUHSA account and the drawing out of money from these accounts and talked very seriously about what she considers in the past to have been shockingly loose systems which gave rise to much misappropriation and corruption. Dr Rita does not trust any of the staff of RUHSA and in fact believes that they have been corrupt in the past. Equally when we talked about the Self Help Group women who manage our centre, she talked about how they would be stealing from the allocated budget if there was any opportunity. 

This being the background for our discussion, we might have been prepared for the tensions which could arise. We have had a link via RUHSA personnel since 1978 and have made personal contacts and relationships with particular RUHSA community workers since 1991, since we set up the first preschool. In the meeting one of these community workers was brought into the room to answer some questions and very soon Dr Rita began a very vigorous verbal attack on him which continued for quite a time and which no interjections from the three of us would halt The staff member under attack sat at the table in silence and said not a word in his defence. I have never experienced such a feeling of distress for another human being on witnessing such an unrelenting assault. We have worked with him for twenty four years and without the help he has given us there would never have been any preschool centres, none of our work could have come to fruition. Suddenly something flipped in my head and I said, loudly, that I COULD NOT sit and listen to one more word. I then went on to talk about what this person has done for us and then about the long history of our donations to RUHSA projects (since 1978 it will actually amount to almost £70,000) and how we surely therefore have a right to our opinion on what happens now, and to be listened to. 

By the time I had finished speaking I felt absolutely done in and it was fortunate indeed that Jude was there to help me to move on with the meeting and the agenda. The offending staff member was told to leave the room and Dr Rita made it clear that our relationships with RUHSA people, as well as with the village people who have befriended us since 2004, are not something she values. She feels that it has layed us open to being manipulated by them and to being cheated. She, as Director of RUHSA, has to clear up the mess of all these community relationships which have been developed over the years and she clearly thinks that keeping a professional distance is the way we should all operate. I tried to give her a brief outline of the essence of the community link which Carolyn Whitwell and I initiated with the help of Daleep Mukarji thirty seven years ago, but I was fighting a losing battle. 

We do of course understand Dr Rita’s point of view and her need to make everyone accountable. However we have based all our work here on partnerships and on building strong personal relationships. Sometimes in life you have to go with your gut instinct about people and show trust. At the end of the meeting, largely moved on by Jude and Andy, we had, despite everything,  achieved a lot. The teachers, ayah and other helpers will indeed be bought saris with our donations, after we have left. The teachers and the ayah will be awarded a good pay rise and provision in future will be made for an annual rise in January. In addition they will get an annual Christmas gift (not bonus) equal to one month’s honorarium payment. We will budget for an annual outing for the children. The community worker with whom we have always worked will continue to support the teachers in their development and will also train up a new young community worker to take over from him. So we had good news to convey to the staff of the centre after lunch. 

We went first to the preschool to say our goodbyes to the children, with a goodbye to each child in turn and a small hand saluting us in return as they said ‘Goodbye Madam, goodbye Sir.’

Then to the home of Vimula, who cooks for the elderly alternating with Indra. She had prepared nice snacks and ‘one small coffee’ obviously also. Her daughter was there with her four month old baby and we learned that she will spend a lot of time in her mother’s home with the baby until it is five or six months old. 

We learned that the wife and baby of Suresh had gone back with him to stay in Chennai, where he works. I had worried about how his wife, Veejaykumari would manage as she is still very exhausted and the baby is a night-time crier. No need to worry though it seems because her mother has gone to Chennai to stay with them and to look after her daughter and new granddaughter. Whilst we have been here two of the young women who live in Seetaramanpet have suffered miscarriages at three months and here too what has happened is that the family of the woman has also come to help and to look after their daughter. It strikes me as very good for the care of young mothers and their babies that the family has an expectation that they will be looked after until they are strong enough not to need the extra care. I’d like to bet that the incidence of post-natal depression will be much lower in such a society. 

With another few goodbyes to friends in the village (and obviously some more small small coffees) we just had to meet with the teachers and with Sekar from RUHSA to explain about sari gifts and honorarium rises and annual trips and we also revised the daily schedule for the children very slightly, hopefully to allow for longer periods of free play.  We have also offered Balaji the job to take over from our (useless fellow) night-watchman and to develop our garden and possibly the setting up of a stall-fed goats scheme. The worry is that Balaji, who would be such an excellent worker I am sure, will not be able to afford to do this on the honorarium we could give. He might be able to combine it with the casual building work he does now which is reasonable money but very hard work. He will give it some thought and will make an appointment to go and see Dr Rita. Goodbye hung heavy in the air and there were tears all round (from me and the women). I have promised that this time we will if at all possible return in a year’s time and with the Blessed Pam and her husband Brian. 

All in all it had been an exhausting and emotionally draining day. Fortunately I was able to skype call Pam to off-load some of how I was feeling. She advised me to leave it all behind as much as possible and to be sure to enjoy our break in Kerala. Wise advice. We had to get the train at Katpadi at 10.30 so got there early in order to be sure that we did have reserved seats. We were advised to go to the CMC helpdesk where someone would ‘do the needful’ – wonderful expression!  As it turned out our faithful helper Balaji was there with his friend Boopathy and they made sure they found our seats and hefted our heavy rucksacks onto the sleeper train. Here I lay down and fell quickly asleep, to wake the next day in quite a different world.

26th January

26th January, we fail to make the 6.30 raising of the flag for Republic Day, and begin our tearful farewells.

Despite his best intentions to get to the RUHSA flag pole in time for the flag raising ceremony, Andy was still in his bed at the necessary early hour. Jude and I didn't even try. These ceremonies are held in every village and schoool, at different times. I saw the girls of Seetaramanpet school cycling in their uniforms after their ceremony, which they attend and then go home for the national holiday.

We cycled off to the pre school centre where we were going to meet our teachers before going off for a breakfast with Larta, who is the member of the Self Help Group who supports the Patchikili. Before we left to walk to Kamanchamanpet, I borrowed Rani's mobile to call Sekar to whom I had not spoken since there had been problems with Dr Rita and she had told him he would not again be working with the Patchikili. He confirmed all our worst fears and indicated that it is possible that the teachers may not get their bonus gift saris even after we have left, as Rita thinks this would mean that all helpers in the other centres for elderly people would think they should have sari gifts also. Bless him, Sekar says he does not feel upset at all and that he accepts what has happened. 

I came off the phone and tried to tell the teachers what had happened, in simple terms, and became upset myself as I was talking. They were horrified to see this and said immediately that they don't mind about the saris, they love working at the preschool etc etc and I must not worry or get upset. This did make me feel even sadder, as you may imagine, but we were by now late for Larta, so we set off to her home. Breakfast, which was supposed to have been just a  light meal, was not! It featured pouri, a type of flat pancake which we haven't had this visit, plus curried vegetables and samba and rice ie what you might think of as a full Indian meal! Delicious of course. We were able to talk to Larta's grown up son who is an engineer and lives away from home, somewhere in Andra Pradesh. Clearly yet another of the young people of these fairly poor village families who has worked his way to a more prosperous future, by studying hard at school and college. Padmini told me that Larta's younger son, also now a mechanical engineer, was one of the first students in the Barbara Jennings pre school which we set up in 1991, and which was the forerunner of our current preschool. I felt very proud! 

Back at the centre for a too-short pause before we had lunch. Although the children were not in school today, the elderly people were there and Indra had cooked for them and for us First of all Indra shinned up a fairly rickety ladder, in her sari, to access some banana leaves for our plates.

After our meal the teachers and the helpers made us a special presentation of gifts which they had all chipped in to buy us. You may imagine how humble I felt and how even sadder I felt about the lack of saris. Fortunately we had bought them small gifts from a tourist shop next to Vellore swimming pool, so we had a small something to give them. They give so very generously and with such open hearts. Later the teachers gave us another surprise. They had hung up balloons filled with glitter which they popped to sprinkle all over us, and they had sewn together flowers and leaves to make a kind of headdress. I thought on Andy it looked a bit Julius Caesar. They then presented us with another gift and one to take home for 'Fam and Brain'- they will know who they are! 

 

 After this we got into a discussion with the teachers about budgets and what everything costs and they showed us their meticulous accounts. They then showed us the planning book in which they write the activities, games,songs etc which they plan for each day with the children. I was delighted to see this. They are such a committed and dedicated team.

Notice how I have selected the photo of myself in which I have removed the hilarious headgear! 

Just one more eating engagement before we could wobble home on our bikes. We went for a light afternoon snack at Rani's house. She is the person who helps with the elderly people, doing exercises, going for a walk, and playing games. Another lovely day rounded off by a sighting of two beautiful Indian roller birds on the wires as we cycled through Kavanur, just before the junction and crossing. 

Google took this photo, not me.This is how gorgeous they look in flight.

25th January

25th January, in which we go visiting in Guddyatum and get stuffed

We had arranged a taxi today to take us, with Balaji and Priya, to visit her family in Guddyatum, a largish town which we have never previously visited. Balaji was very late arriving and when he did he explained that he had been to a hospital in Vellore with his friend with whom he does building work. It sounded as though the friend had had an accident at the building site and hurt his leg and his back. When one looks at conditions where building is going on, the statistics for accidents must be horrifically high here. 

I had woken with a small case of Delhi belly this morning, as had Jude (so she stayed home to rest) and  I was hoping for a relatively quiet day and a quick return to my bed for a lie-down but all such hopes were swiftly thwarted on arrival at Priya's home. The whole family was there to see us, which did not surprise me, but I soon realised that Balaji was booking us a quick visit to a relative of Santi, his sister in law, who lived a few streets away; and then another 'quick visit' to the home of Raghu's sister in law, Suranya; oh and lastly the opposite neighbour really must invite us in. We know from experience that in every home something must be eaten or at the very least drunk. Our meal with Priya's family was delicious but large, of course, and my head was beginning to throb as the sun was very hot today. I tried to look pathetic and point to my head and Andy did the same kind of mime, pointing with great concern at my head and indicating I might need rest. Fat lot of good that all was! As Balaji and Partiban whisked us off through the traffic on motorbikes to visit Suranya's house Balaji explained that if we had visited Priya's family, and Santi's family, but not Suranya's family there would have been a great deal of envy and Suranya would have felt very slighted. Indian culture again!

Priya's family, like Balaji's are weavers. This is her father Boopathy giving us a demonstration. It is really hard physical work. Here he is making a lunghi in a pale blue-white which is destined for a Muslim country as Muslim men favour this type of material.

When we arrrived at Suranya's family home, Partiban's mother Magashwari was also there. Whilst we drank our 'one small-small coffee' we talked about the new daughters in law, Priya and Suranya, who have only married into the family of Seetaramanpet men in the last year or so. I had heard Balaji's family before saying that Priya won't eat very much and now I heard the same of Suranya, who only left her family to marry Parti last September. Both girls are only just eighteen years old. Balaji showed me Suranya's wedding photo and pointed out that in it she was more well covered. I asked if perhaps the women were not happy and that was why they were not eating properly. Balaji understood what I was getting at and said that yes it is very difficult for the young women who leave their homes, parents and friends when they  marry and go to an unknown family and village. They are often sad and miss their loved ones. I told them how different it is for us in the UK, but said that when I left my home it was to live a hundred miles away, when I went to university aged eighteen. I too had missed my family and friends at first. I said that even though the girls have married into lovely kind families, it is obviously still difficult for them. 

After a hectic round of visits to everyone to whom Balaji was in any way related, or so it seemed, and sometimes not even related, who lived in that neighbourhood, we returned by taxi. It had been an opportunity for Priya to visit her beloved family and hopefully she will settle and be happier in her new family soon.

24th January

24th January, just a brief blog about an unhappy day

There are in my experience of coming to RUHSA over more than twenty years, always low points of the visit, and today was definitely it. I was called to go and talk to Matthew of RUHSA and when I got there he was with Sanjeevi the accountant. They had hoped that the arrangement they suggested yesterday for us buying the sari gifts would be acceptable to Dr Rita. Unfortunately when they spoke to her this morning she totally forbade it. The saris are to be purchased by someone at RUHSA at some date in the future, after we have left. Matthew and Sanjeevi were evidently very sad to have to tell me because they have understood how important it is to us to be able to give the saris as a way of expressing our gratitude. Over and above this, however, they were very anxious that Dr Rita's order should be obeyed as they know that if we go against her expressed wish, they will be on the receiving end of her wrath. I said I did feel sad but understood that they had tried their very best for us.

Went back to the flat to share the good news with Jude and Andy and felt very miserable and powerless. My other big worry is that if as seems likely Dr Rita really is going to forbid Sekar from ever working with us again, then it will be very hard indeed to conclude our work with the teachers this week. Eventually we roused ourselves to set off in a taxi to the swimming pool at Vellore, where a good swim did perk us up a little. In the evening we had a supper invitation to Rita's house, which is very close to the pool. We agreed that the best thing we could do was to avoid work talk and we subsequently had a very pleasant meal with her. She has a cook who is Keralan ( Rita herself is from Kerala) and she cooked a delicious meal which was typical of that region- lots of coconut milk used, also fish. 

This being a low point, we have to hope that tomorrow will be onwards and upwards.

This India

This India

India teems swarms sweats
full sun throbbing
insists and persists
thrum thrum of a drum
train rattle and clack, clackety clack

India teems swarms sweats
life is cheap work is hard
days are long life is short
the pulse and the beat, heat
the colour and culture, our custom this culture
this India
our way

Daily and dear
the rituals are strong, the heart beat insists
in spite of the squalor, the problems the pain
survival a struggle
no justice no pity, just poojah and prayer
the gods here are legion
entwined in our custom our culture
our lives, daily worship at shrines

Pray for a baby a girl or a boy
for health, education, a chance to succeed
for work and for marriage, enough food to eat
that life will be better, this life or the next
this India our India
in spite of the filth and the foetid, fight to survive
the pity the pain
astounding appalling
the gorgeous the vile 
beloved our country our birthplace
this India our culture
our way

23rd January 2015, RUHSA campus, for my family in India with so  much love