It's that time again..

January 25^th

 

Our last day and time for a few loose ends to be tied and for many sad farewells.  It promised to be a bit stressful in various ways, but largely because of the intense and humid heat that was weighing heavy on my head and also on Pam’s. Never mind, off we set to meet with Dr Rita, to hand over the donation from FOV and the list of purchases we wanted to be made on our behalf at the toy shop in Vellore, plus on line for a camera and an MP3 player. Alas, thwarted at the first hurdle: Dr Rita was absent in Vellore and would probably only be able to see us around 4ish. Various other things needed to be sorted like payments for electricity and for our accommodation during our stay and we had at last decided it was time to set off for lunch with Indra, one of the centre’s cooks, in Seetaramanpet. As luck would have it Andy had a puncture, and as further luck would have it (the gods who deal with stress and  migraine must have been with us today) there was Mani, the taxi driver just drawing up, so quick, abandon bikes and off we set. He has a tiny van which requires tall people to bend double to enter and exit, but apart from this it provided some breeze and got us to Indra’s only half an hour late.

Pam Indra and Rani (teacher)

Rani, the caretaker for the elderly and our next date ‘for coffee’ was also present, and then Rani, teacher, arrived. It was lunch hour at school and I think she came to support Indra who has only very limited English. It is surprising just how well one can communicate with a few words and with gestures and miming as long as you have quick-witted women like this. Lovely lunch, of course, then off on our round Seetaramanpet walk,  in blistering heat, to say goodbye to Raghu’s family, Balaji’s family, Sarida the poor bereaved former ayah, Santi and her lovely ex-Candle fund girls, and finally to Rani’s, not, of course, for ‘just coffee’ but for some freshly cooked plantain fritters, called ‘badgees’- very nice and I remembered she had served us with them last year. Her two adolescent granddaughters appeared and Rani showed us the head-dresses and the saris being prepared for the imminent ceremony for both of the girls, to mark the beginning of their menstruation. 

 

Then, finally, to the Pachaikili where the staff were waiting for us, with the SHG women Indra and Vimula, and Rani the caretaker for the elderly, plus Rajeshwari, one of the elderly. They had come with gifts, of course and to make a small leaving ceremony for us. My head was throbbing by now so I sat with a flower in my hair and a wet flannel on my forehead, a ministration which needless to say Padmini was happy to take over from me, bless her. They presented each of us with gifts, from the SHG, from the teachers and Rajeshwari had come with two packets of biscuits, very much the widow’s mite if you recall her story from Pam’s blog. After the presentations they showered us with foil confetti, as they had done the day we arrived and then began the tearful farewells, emotion on both sides, for us and for them. Definitely time to remember what Gandhi wrote: There are no goodbyes between friends. 

Ooh me poor head..
 

 This year we remembered to sign the visitors' book

Our wonderful family at Pachaikili

Back in the Mani tiny van to RUHSA, where we found Dr Rita still in her office. She had to rush off, but we managed to speak at speed and pass her the money and the orders for toys etc, which passed without a problem. I then explained that we had committed last year to raising the teachers’ and ayah’s pay annually in line with inflation, but that it had not been put in the budget request to FOV. Dr Rita made dubious sounds and muttered about how well paid that staff are, compared to many nursery staff. I said I would also like to reinstate the daily 100 ml of milk for the staff. Dr Rita not keen. I asked if she might be able to do a simple costing for setting up the counselling group for adolescent girls, and she thought they might be too busy to commit to doing this group. I said I would write to Arabella at VRCT and to FOV as I think there is an issue about not making our funding inflation proof, for all our projects, not just for Pachaikili. I will also of course put all these things in an email to Dr Rita for her to consider after we have gone.  Finally we showed her the very nifty drawing Brian had done for a simple hand rail at two heights, one for the children and one for the elderly. We assume CMC will pay, we said, it being their building and a Health and Safety issue? Oh no, I doubt that she said. So all in all, perhaps a good thing that Dr Rita didn’t have very much time for us, as we had left on such a high note with the love and generosity of our wonderful Pachaikili family and Dr Rita and the voice of reason can have a somewhat deflating effect. 

So we all survived our final day without the stress of emotion and heat boiling over, my headache responded to Padmini’s care, and we are ready now for our next adventure, in Sri Lanka.    

Busy-busy; our last weekend and much eating to be done

January 24th

Saturday  

No blog yesterday as chief blogger was afflicted with the nasty migraine after a full but very satisfying day. Pam and I were at the centre shortly after nine and we set about arranging the two play rooms as I have decided they should be in future. That is, I have realised that it will be better to have distinct play areas set out, so that a full range of activities can be offered for the children every day. So we set about re-arranging and sweeping, although of course our lovely teachers and ayah could not bear to see us doing this, so made sure to prevent us from doing any such menial work! Sometimes it would be nice to have these wonderful women in one’s normal life back home, I think…In behind the book shelf we found a rather large lizard which set Pam running to the other side of the room. I was surprised to find that Padmini also wanted to run away from it, as somehow I imagined these tough village women would make nothing of the odd scurrying creature. Boona said she didn’t like them as they sometimes run right up your leg, which I didn’t much like the sound of, but nonetheless she took a broom to it and efficiently shooed it out of the building. We set out a home play area, a book corner, a table for drawing/ art, a place for dressing up and role play, some jigsaws in a corner on the floor, a corner for blocks/ construction, water play and sand play. I was quite pleased with the results, I have to say.

By this time Sekar had arrived and he brought with him Sam, from RUHSA, who is the person supposed to be taking over from him regarding work with the Pachaikili. He told us he has made a few visits already. It was certainly a good idea of Sekar to invite him to this training session as I think he took in quite a lot of what we discussed. For the training I basically took the teachers and Boona through the different areas of a child’s learning and asked them to think how they would be developing, relating it to the new play areas in the play room and the different activities they undertake in the day. I was so impressed by the way they responded to this. They did not need any prompting at all by Sekar or me to be able to reply about the children’s learning using examples from what they see every day in their work with them. They seem to remember everything I have ever taught them over the years, and to be able to use their own initiative and instincts very effectively. 

We ended with me explaining how I would like them to start keeping a very simple Learning Journal for each child, in which they keep observations which I asked them to undertake for five minutes at a time, on one child, doing five such observations between them during free play sessions, every week. This should mean that each child is observed once a month. We are ordering a camera for them to use in the centre to take photos of the children when engaged in activities, to go in the journals. Sam said he would come once a month to the centre to download the photos on to his laptop and put them on a stick, to be printed locally in KVKuppam. I also asked the teachers to keep a log of the activities they plan each week for their small group sessions with the children. 

Finally I asked them what they feel about their work, and what problems they have, if any. They replied very quickly that there are NO problems and they are very very happy. They love being with the children, watching them at play especially when they don’t realise they are being watched, forming a relationship with them, having fun together. They find it interesting and are bored if there is no school! They then also talked about the elders and the relationships they have with them, talking to cheer them up if they are a bit down. Once one of the women didn’t come for a day or so because she was ill, so all the three women went to visit her at home and encouraged her to come back. On another occasion one lady came straight from getting her pension and they realised she had only Rs 500 instead of the Rs 1,000 to which she is entitled. One of them went back to the post office with her, where the post man told her that the old lady had left too quickly before he could give her the full amount. A likely tale, we thought! The teachers also mentioned that the elderly people will notice and enquire after a child who is absent, so clearly the relationships in this group of elders and children are quite significant. I said ‘You are like a big family’ and they agreed that this is how they do feel. How fortunate we are to have these wonderful staff working in Pachaikili, and the SHG cooks also, who clearly all have a strong sense of commitment to the community.

There followed a  great lunch, of course, prepared by Rani because this year she can’t invite us to her home because she is having work done on the house in preparation for the marriage of her only son Morganraj in June. The chaps had arrived on bikes to participate in this and afterwards Pam and I got in our wonderful air-conditioned taxi to go to Vellore, to shop. This expedition is unavoidable at some time, usually towards the end of our visits, and has always been hellish in some degree. The A/C taxi, however, made all the difference this year. We went first to a toy shop, which I had discovered on line, called First Cry. All the toys are very plastic, but we felt they had some value for play in the centre. As we are now working strictly to Rita/RUHSA/ rules we had to choose the items then list them with their order numbers and price. Hopefully the staff will keep them by for us until the order can be raised by Vinoth and then approved (by whom? Not sure, someone at CMC?) and then he can place the order and hopefully it can be fetched from Vellore. Just so long as it doesn’t take more than a year like the repairing of the trucks did last year!!! Pause for sound of Sally screaming in frustration… What with it being Current-Off day in Vellore so shop AC not working, and the next venue being a posh Indian sweetie shop, also no fans working, you can begin to fathom why my head started to throb at this time, perhaps! It is unbelievably humid here at the moment with the air sitting lifeless and heavy upon one’s head, not a breath of breeze. Home in the taxi just in time before full ‘womiting’ as they say here, set in.

Sunday

At the last minute yesterday, after our training and lunch, we were importuned by Vimula and Indra the two cooks, who wanted us to ‘come my house’. I had tried to sort a schedule for us weeks ago and was surprised that they hadn’t already asked for a lunch date. Alas however, a date now had to be found and we were really short on time, so I finished up agreeing to breakfast on Sunday at Vimula’s. I did this whilst Pam was out of hearing and I said, oh dear, Pam will not be happy. However, bless her, she took it in good part, knowing these things are inevitable. Come this morning however, I was too ill to go, so off the cheerful three went for the first of three stuffings scheduled for today. They arrived back mid-morning by which time I was feeling better, so we all went to Boona’s for a very nice, large lunch with her family, who are really delightful. A niece was there, home from her degree course at Chennai, and she helped a bit with English. Home again then, for a few hours respite before the final sortie to Tuthitangel to Selvi’s house. We knew that we would never get away with just having a small coffee with her, of course, but in the event we were very pleasantly surprised by the lighter meal she offered, with very nice dosai pancakes and a few small curries and lovely mint and groundnut chutney. She herself was looking and feeling much better after the nasty fever and cough she has had. Just as we were leaving the village to come home we were hailed in our auto by someone, who turned out to be Gauri, a long ago friend who worked for years for BTC. We managed to understand each other enough for me to find out all her four girls are married, she has two grandsons and two granddaughters, but her husband doesn’t work as he has, I think, diabetes problems. 

And so finally home, me only two thirds as stuffed as the rest of the party, and all of us flat out under the fans in terrific heat. Tomorrow is our last day, when ends have to be tied and farewells said all around Seetaramanpet. One of the things we have to do is to see the RUHSA engineer with Sekar, he who couldn’t work out how to repair our toy trucks so left the work undone for a year. He has been to see the steps where we need a hand rail and has decreed that it cannot go up the middle because it can’t go to the very top step (as it would prevent the gate opening) Brian has explained to Sekar that it could go to the penultimate step and still leave room for the gate to open. Ah, says the engineer, who perhaps may not be the sharpest of them, but this is no good as they still have one more step to climb. They could however very easily hold on to the edge of the other half of the gate, which is always closed. No says our man, it will be fixed to the left hand gate, welded to it. Ah says Pam, but that gate swings open if you touch it. She and I cast looks at each other and start to imagine elderly people flying round the gate, holding on to a hand rail, and become slightly hysterical. Dear god, we both think. It may be very interesting to meet this design genius tomorrow.

Pam hears three sad stories

January 22nd

Up bright and early after a good night’s sleep and Brian and I headed off to join Sekar at the Pachaikili Centre. 

Today is Peacock Day, a festival that is always exactly one week after the beginning of the Pongal Festival and we were greeted by a delightful Kolam design of two peacocks at the entrance to the centre. Padmini explained that some people fast during the morning of Peacock Day and Boonha who is the play centre’s Ayah rushed off at lunch time when she had finished her work to do Puja and break her fast with the family. In no time at all she was back and working as hard as ever. 

In honour of Peacock festival 

Sekar had beaten us on his motor bike and had brought a young student with him who was studying the work of Rani, the caretaker for the elderly. From our own observations it seems that Rani would benefit from some training on how to motivate the elderly rather than helping with the cooking. It appears that previously the RCO’s had to explain to her that it was better to talk gently to them rather than shouting when they were reluctant to cooperate and it’s possible there may be some bridges to build with relationships. Certainly Sally had no difficulty in encouraging the elderly to participate in sand play and today they had a wonderful time colouring in pages from a Creative Colouring Book for Grown Ups which Sally provided.

 Rajeshwhara

 Subramani

Rani failing to grasp that the idea was to encourage Saradha to colour, not to do it for her...

The purpose of our visit today was to have in depth chats with three of the residents with Sekar acting as interpreter. I hoped to discover if being part of the elderly centre has made a real difference to the quality of life for these three elders. I discovered that the main reason for attending was primarily because food was offered and all three had been told about the centre by neighbours or Self Help Group Members who help to run the group. The SHG members work with Rakesh who is the RCO responsible for the centres to identify elderly in most need.

All three elders explained how sad they felt before they joined the centre and every one of them expressed how happy they were to have at least one good meal a day and to spend time with the children and their peers. They all said they were now much happier because of the Pachaikili Centre. 

Subramani, who is 63 years old, enjoys doing exercises with the children and playing Dhayam (a game they play with dice and stones) with his friends. He also does ‘folk art sticks’ which seems to be some sort of martial art with canes and has promised to demonstrate. He would like to teach the children but tells me they are too small.

Rajeshwhara, about 60 years old, used to be an Ayah in a private convent school and loved working with the children. She missed them very much and now she joins in enthusiastically with all the activities and particularly enjoys interacting with the little ones, sometimes telling them stories and teaching them rhymes. Although she suffers from high blood pressure and diabetes she is one of the youngest in the group and is quite lively. She wishes she could come on Saturdays too.

Saradha has been coming to the centre since it opened in 2010 and she thinks she is about 75 years old.

Here is her story:

 Saradha

Born in the village of Kavanur, Saradha lived with her parents and one sister. Her father cultivated his own land and they were very poor. She and her sister never attended school as her parents didn’t think it was worth educating girls and in time she was married to an agricultural worker from KV Kuppam and gave birth to three daughters.

Saradha is a very gentle lady who always smiles. It was, therefore, very humbling to watch her very quietly telling Sekar the story of her life. Tears did not fall but at times I struggled to hold them back. She is a widow and all three of her daughters died fairly young. She explained that her first daughter was happily married but her mother in law, who also had 4 daughters she was unable to arrange marriages for, became jealous and began to ‘torture’ her daughter in law until finally she forced her to leave and return home to Saradha. She then arranged another marriage for her son. This daughter later died. 

Her second daughter’s husband was injured due to a train accident and then he died. Due to her worries this daughter also died. Saradha did not explain how these daughters died but it’s possible they may have committed suicide?

Her third daughter went for Coolie work (labouring) and she had a fall. 10 days later she died. Finally Saradha’s+ husband also died suddenly from a fever and she sold the land they owned, giving the money to her granddaughter who was looking after her. Sadly that granddaughter moved away leaving Saradha destitute. Her grandson gave her a room with an asbestos roof to stay in but he was so angry that she’d given the money to his sister that he does not speak to her and does not support her. Before coming to the Pachaikili centre she relied on neighbours to give her food as she had no way to cook for herself and even now she sometimes does not have food in the evenings. She now has a pension of 1000rps per month and 4kg of rice which she can sometimes manage to cook and she is able to heat water every two days to wash.  Her eyesight was very bad but she has now had cataracts removed and wears glasses. She wears a hearing aid and along with the other elderly she receives health check-ups and free treatment at RUHSAa.

Saradha loves being with the children and they seem to love her too. She enjoys action songs on TV which she watches with the little ones and the quality of the food she is offered.

Finally she smiled gently and told me that she is ‘happy here but sad at home’.

Postscript 

I discovered today that Subramani brings his goat with him (as he cycles to the centre). The goat enjoys the weedy patch under our coconut trees. for which no one has yet managed to come up with a useful plan.